Joe Biden wants the presidency so bad, he can taste it. He makes little suckling sounds in his sleep, just thinking about the seal of office. There’s a well-polished statue of Justice on his desk, and Justice’s face is permanently molded into that frozen mask of polite endurance as she waits for another intimate encounter with handsy, handsy Uncle Joe, the creepiest VP that ever veeped. It’s so hard to know what to do with Joe Biden. It’s not possible that... Read more
Q. A bunch of my friends are trying to organize a blog carnival where people can show pictures of themselves eating salad while looking sadly at a snapshot they’ve taped to the balsamic vinegar cruet, showing their sponsored African child, who will be getting an extra $12 from saved grocery bills this month. They’re calling it The 100% Represent and Repent Lent Event 2015 Y’All, and I’m fairly sure they are turning a profit in some way. How can they... Read more
What a shame that Ash Wednesday comes but once a year. For many of us, that’s the only opportunity we have to experience what many people consider the lyrical poet Thomas Conry’s masterwork. Let’s take a closer look. The first lines are something of a ruse, are they not? Listen: We rise again from ashes, from the good we’ve failed to do. We rise again from ashes, to create ourselves anew. If all our world is ashes, then must our lives... Read more
Not only do we set the parameters for what we give up (sugar in coffee? A second cup of coffee? All the coffee?), but we decide what kind of thing we want to give up (or take on) — and why. Here are a few broad categories of ways to observe the penitential season. One or the other may be more spiritually fruitful for you, but none of them is really wrong . . . Read the rest at the Register. *** Image: detail... Read more
It’s hard to say which is more satisfying: a book that introduces you to a fascinating, new, unfamiliar world, or a book which is set in a time and place that you know intimately, and which really nails it. For me, The Dogs of March by Ernest Hebert is a great example of the latter. It’s set in a fictional small town of Darby, New Hampshire, and man, is it familiar. It gives us painfully accurate picture of the small... Read more
Afraid the world is getting smarter? Set your fears to rest with this story from my increasingly schizophrenic home state of New Hampshire, where we just can’t decide if we’re all about rugged individualism, progressive environmentalism, or just good old fashioned booze chugging: Hybrids Trump Handicapped At Liquor Store In order to receive Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design certification, Nashua’s new 20,000-square foot liquor store, which is owned and operated by the state, was “built with solar panels, geo-thermal... Read more
It’s been many years since I was in Rome, but I remember my first impression of the city: it’s extremely beautiful, and it smells like poop. Part of that smell comes because Italians tend to have dogs, rather than children. And part of the smell comes because, at least when I was there, public bathrooms are few and far between, and they are coin operated. The phrase “eternal city” takes on a whole new meaning when you are penniless, on foot, and have nowhere... Read more
This year, I revealed to my husband that I actually kind of like Valentine’s Day. This is despite all the times I told him that I hated it, it’s lame and stupid, and a made-up, over-commercialized saccharine-fest invented by Hallmark and Big Floral. For fourteen years, the poor man has been wondering why, every February 14, I would say I wasn’t mad at him, while I was clearly mad at him. I was mad, you see, because everyone... Read more
UPDATE: Thanks for the orders, folks! Leaning Into Love is sold out (from my stash, I mean; you can still order from OSV, naturally!). I still have a few copies of The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning left. To receive an autographed copy for Valentine’s Day, YOU MUST ORDER TODAY OR SATURDAY the 7th BEFORE 11 EASTERN. I will still accept orders after that time, but I cannot guarantee they will get to you by the 14th. **** I’m... Read more
1. You may know where the baby is going to come out, but your joints aren’t sure. So they alllllll relax, all over your body, just in case you need to prepare for, for instance, a mandibular delivery. On the up side, the spectacle of you trying to get out of a car with your useless, floppy puppet legs is hilarious, and will win you many admirers. Among jerks. 2. Doesn’t matter if it’s a penny, a pork chop,... Read more
I Have to Sit Down
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