A Mighty Wind: A fax from “God”

And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small …

… fax?

The following message came over the fax machine yesterday at 6:28 p.m. in the newsroom where I work.

It arrived under the heading "FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE." I'm reproducing it here in its entirety, with original spelling, grammar and punctuation:

Do you hear it? Can you feel it? Can you feel My Power? Do you know who I AM? Do you know that I AM the One? The One who created it all. The One who made the day and night. The One who made the sun and the moon? The One who can make the snow fall in the morning, the rain in the afternoon and a rainbow before sunset. The only One who can heal and protect. The One who created you. Do you know who I AM?

I AM tired America. Yes, I know each and every one of you. Do you think because you are doing all those "good things," that I don't know what you are capable of doing, when no one is watching you but Me? There is no one who is exempt. No one.

This wind that I am sending forth today, is just another warning America. Another warning which man can't tell where it is coming from, or be able to stop Me. Another warning, which I can take everything away just like that. Snap your finger. Do I have your full attention?

Stop disrespecting Me. Man is not in control. I AM. Humble yourselves before Me, before it is too late. Do you know who I AM? I AM . . . GOD.

Valerie F—, Freelance writer.

What are we to make of this? The final sentence seems to be contradicted by the concluding signature.

Is this truly a divine message from YHWH, the great I AM? (If so I really wish I had the return fax number.)

Or is it just another unsolicited manuscript from someone named "Valerie"? (In which case, I would remind her that freelancers aren't supposed to supply brazen assertions of divine sovereignty — that's the editor's job.)

I'm thinking this was the latter. I mean, sure it was windy yesterday, but it wasn't that windy. Plus I figure God probably knows where to put a comma.