Apocalypseses

Apocalypseses October 8, 2009

Author Tom Sine tells a story about his first encounter with Ron Sider's book, Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger. It made him mad.

Sider's book suggested that money was a major theme of the Bible. Tom knew better. He had read the Bible. He read it every day. Like any good evangelical, he had committed big chunks of it to memory. It might mention money a handful of times, but mainly it was about other things, stuff like sin and lust and idols and praying and what not.

So Tom went back to his Bible, angrily, setting out to disprove Sider's claims. And suddenly he noticed something he had never noticed before. Money is a major theme of the Bible. It's everywhere in that book. And the Bible, it turns out, has far more things to say far more often about the poor than it does about, say for instance, sex.

This was a revelation. One biblical word for such a revelation, such a pulling back of the veil, is "apocalypse." That which had been hidden is revealed and the whole world is changed, remade, replaced, reborn.

Tom Sine had the grace to welcome this apocalypse, to embrace it. But not every reader is receptive to such revelations.

I suspect that a similar apocalypse lies behind the creation of the Conservative Bible Project. Someone caught a fleeting glimpse of what that book has to say when read without the filtering lens of what it is expected to say. It may even have been, as in Tom Sine's story, an angry attempt to disprove what some radical prophet was claiming it said. However it happened, for a moment the veil was lifted and there it was — the law and the prophets, the sheep and the goats, the stark binary clarity of 1 John and that pervasive, terrifying, overwhelming insistence that nothing else matters to God if we fail to respond to neighbors in need with a tangible expression of love.

This revelation was unwelcome.

The folks at Conservapedia wanted no part in the new world promised by this apocalypse. Their response to it, instead, was something like a scene from Douglas Adams:

They flew out of the cloud.

They saw the staggering jewels of the night in their infinite dust and their minds sang with fear.

For a while they flew on, motionless against the starry sweep of the Galaxy, itself motionless against the infinite sweep of the Universe. And then they turned round.

"It'll have to go."

The folks at the Conservative Bible Project caught a glimpse of something too big to accommodate in their tiny little comfortable framework and so, unable to accept it or even to allow or recognize it, they've set about turning it into something else.

It's an audacious project for a group of people who self-identify not just as Christians, but as "Bible-believing" Christians (that is, Real, True Christians) — people who proudly differentiate themselves by declaring their "high view of scripture." The only way to reconcile that sense of identity with the project of rewriting the Bible is to pretend that their problem is not with the Bible itself, but with the supposed distortion of it perpetrated by evil, feminist, intellectual, tree-hugging, gay-loving, baby-killing, liberal translators.

Correct that distortion and the problem will go away and that scary glimpse of whatever it was they thought they saw there for a moment when the veil was lifted will cease to haunt their sleep. A bit of "retranslation" and they can be rid of that liberal notion that loving one's neighbor encapsulates the whole of the law and the prophets.

Among the many humorous aspects of this undertaking is the CBP organizers' confidence that this project will be easy. They hope to harness the power of wiki to quickly produce a new translation. An army of homeschoolers, they are convinced, should be able to accomplish this in a matter of months.

Some of those footsoldiers may well work as quickly as they imagine. The gruntwork of the Berlitz barbarism they have in mind as "translation" doesn't require much thought or care. And this project is easier than most translation, because the translators already know ahead of time what it is they're going to make the text say.

But I also think that army of homeschoolers is going to have more than a few deserters. I suspect this project will, for many, become a matter of a little learning being a dangerous thing. Alps on alps arise, and apocalypse upon apocalypse. The text will speak for itself. It's not going to lose this fight. The Conservative Bible Project, I suspect, will come to work as a subversive virus, creating far more converts from than to its cause.

– – – – – – – – –

As for the redundancy of satire in this case, which we discussed in the previous post, I'm not yet willing to surrender. The ridiculous must be ridiculed. That is part of our sacred duty to the truth, and not to do so is to sin by omission.

When something like the CBP comes along and we realize the impossibility of outracing it, of getting ahead of its own headlong pursuit of absurd conclusions, then we are obliged to ridicule it by creating a parallel track, starting a new line of thought alongside it.

The most fitting response to the Conservative Bible Project thus might be something like the Conservative Shakespeare Project. The words of the Bard, after all, have also been tainted by the hands of devious liberal translators (and actors) and thus will also need to be remade, re-edited and rewritten to ensure that they are fully compatible with the pro-market, anti-government perspective of the Conservapedia.

We clearly need a new folio in which, for example, the quality of mercy is strained.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • sharky

    Art: I apologize, then, for misrepresenting you. That seemed *quite* familiar when you started saying it, I’m afraid.
    As for “Palpatine saw it all coming,” that annoys me on a couple levels. One being the Dark Side is supposed to be largely the trade of power for subtle fine-tunings, and the future is supposed to always be in flux–one has to guess the likelihood of an extragalactic threat is not terribly likely.
    And Luke aside, there was somebodyoda who was supposed to be hanging around on the side of Good doing nothing (yoda) and being hugely skilled in the Light Side of the (yoda) Force and knew the most about divination and was older than Palpatine and more experienced (yoda!) and YODA DAMN IT, IF PALPATINE SENSED IT BEFORE THE REBELLION KICKED INTO HIGH GEAR, WHY DID YODA NOT, HE HAD A LOT LESS TO PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY DAY
    …sorry, I’m not very fond of the prequels *or* the post-Rebellion EU.

  • sharky

    …bleh, stated unclearly in the rage there–I was trying to get across that fine-tunings, and the daily details and the zen beauty of it all, is supposed to be scrapped for the ability to choke other people with your rage.
    But. YODA.

  • @ohiolibrarian: That seems like a pretty good suggestion. Like I said, it’s their reward, and they’re free to water it down as much as they want. I’m still waiting for Obama’s actions to match up to his pretty speeches.

  • Steve C.

    October 9th. A day late and a dollar short! This is the most invigorating religion thing in the last decade (for me). The first thing that strikes me is how sparse the ancient manuscripts really are, and how faked many of them really are. And then, figure that whatever we have had as a “Bible” had to be hand copied for the first millenia or three. So- how many copies were there? Not many. Something beyond us is at work is my guess.
    The most recent church I left was forever dealing out the issue of TRUE Christian, who they were and more importantly, who they were not. It was based on how you accepted the “BOOK.” IF you look into the Bible even a little bit, most times you will be disappointed that your long held beliefs just don’t seem to be upheld. OOPS-Time for Growth! The biggest thing for me right now, is wrestling with “Who is my neighbor?” It is truly frightening because I’m not measuring up real well. BUT- I want the liberal reading because it will tell me how I can measure up. And-besides- God smiles a lot in the Bible and I’ve not seen many TC’s ever smile. After all God and the Bible are very serious issues! (tongue in cheek please). AND, then there’s the scholarship issue, OOPS liberal intelligensia!

  • The most fitting response to the Conservative Bible Project thus might be something like the Conservative Shakespeare Project.
    Then what other conservative book (and eight conservative records) does a Schlafly take to a desert island?

  • Brandi

    Refusing the award would set them howling as much as accepting it would.
    I’m pretty sure the dialogue would’ve been “Oo oo oo, thinks he’s too good for the Nobel Peace Prize, huh? Told you he was uppity.”

  • Mark

    Reminds me, a friend of mine has been writing a blog in the character of an editor who is attempting to rewrite Nabakov’s Lolita in a way that will “retain the lovable poetry of the book’s original text while excising the book’s amoral core.”
    Still ought to be easier than cleaning up the Bible.
    Check out “Lolita Scrubbed” here”:
    http://lolitascrubbed.blogspot.com/2009/06/foreward_08.html

  • Dash

    Fitcher’s Bird, thanks for your reply re Troilus and Cressida. I was wondering, because I absolutely hated it when I first read it, many years ago, and have come to appreciate it since. You may already have seen the essays on the production done by the Theatre for a New Audience at http://www.tfana.org/2001/troilus/. If not, you’ll enjoy looking over the material they’ve put up there. (They’ve also got a timeline of various productions. I would give much to have seen a very young and then-unknown Peter O’Toole as Thersites.)

  • arghous

    Obviously I need to read Douglas Adams again. What was that quote from? Dent and Fenchurch flying?

  • redcrow

    I feel the need to defend Arthur and Fenchurch. That were people of Krikkit.

  • Art

    YODA DAMN IT, IF PALPATINE SENSED IT BEFORE THE REBELLION KICKED INTO HIGH GEAR, WHY DID YODA NOT, HE HAD A LOT LESS TO PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY DAY
    Palpatine isn’t stated to have just “sensed” it with Force mojo, he’s said to have been paying spies to make contact with the various civilizations and peoples of the Unknown Regions, and thus received advance news of the so-called “Far Outsiders”. His Sith powers probably gave him an intuitive understanding that the Far Outsiders were a galactic-level threat rather than being just another race of violent wanderers, but he still gained knowledge of them based on actual information rather than just prophecy.
    The Jedi could have gained similar information too, but they’re bound by the rule of law and an aversion to working in secret, and the Old Republic in general had reached a point of stagnation where a lot of political factions were actively hostile to trying to expand into or make contact with the Unknown Regions, arguing it would disturb the fragile peace they’d spent so long protecting. The conservatives on the Jedi Council, including Yoda himself, leaned toward this point of view, and saw stuff like Jorus C’baoth’s maverick Outbound Flight project to explore extragalactic space as dangerously hubristic (as Outbound Flight indeed turned out to be — it got a lot of Jedi killed and was what first brought the Republic’s existence to the attention of Thrawn).

  • hagsrus

    “Lolita Scrubbed”
    Foreward??

  • Fitcher’s Bird

    Thanks for the link, Dash. I’d heard of the production but didn’t know of the essays. They should prove an interesting read.

  • Andrew Schlafly

    Launcifer: And yet the scariest part of the whole thing might just be the comment quoted above. Quite how anyone can akin the word the word “Communist” to the word “Liberal” frankly beggars belief.
    That’s because you’re an ignorant Liberal whose sex- and drug-addled brain cannot understand REAL logic!
    Communism is BAD.
    Liberals are BAD.
    Therefore, Liberals are Communists!
    And if you try to deny it, I am 90% certain that you voted for Obama and oppose prayer in schools!

  • Night

    All these 40k references reassure me greatly.
    That way, when I delurk for another time to toss around passages that kept me up at night from reading the Ultramarines trilogy (particularly Dead Sky, Black Sun) and other 40k books as a way to mock LB’s idea of apocalyptic imagery, somebody might get it.

  • Andrew Schlafly

    cjmr: Several of the atheist/agnostic and Catholic homeschoolers had never heard of Conservapedia and were amusing themselves trying to get themselves kicked off for editing it/trying to edit it yesterday.
    Getting kicked off Conservapedia is the easiest thing in the world, IF you can make an account there in the first place. The Conservapedia sysops are _INCREDIBLY_ paranoid of new editors, with good reason. (As far as they’re concerned, every new poster is either a Liberal (compared to Andy), a vandal (posting obscenities, rants, or facts), or both, until proven otherwise.) Their every keystroke will be scrutinized for signs of heresy, and they WILL get banned at the first sign of disagreement or humor. The best survival tactics (if they care) are to suck up to Aschafly at every opportunity, and NEVER edit an article that was last touched by a sysop.
    Oh, and if any of them visit Rationalwiki as well, _don’t_ use the same username on both.

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    The folks at Conservapedia wanted no part in the new world promised by this apocalypse. Their response to it, instead, was something like a scene from Douglas Adams:
    They flew out of the cloud.
    They saw the staggering jewels of the night in their infinite dust and their minds sang with fear.
    For a while they flew on, motionless against the starry sweep of the Galaxy, itself motionless against the infinite sweep of the Universe. And then they turned round.
    “It’ll have to go.”
    The folks at the Conservative Bible Project caught a glimpse of something too big to accommodate in their tiny little comfortable framework and so, unable to accept it or even to allow or recognize it, they’ve set about turning it into something else.

    And so they retreat from their God’s own magnificent Universe, into a Punyverse — Earth and some Lights in the Sky/Firmament, 6013 years old, ending tomorrow — with a Punygod who’ll jump through their hoops on demand. Talk about “Failure of Imagination” (endemic among RTCs)…
    The fear of the Big Universe, when their own theology alone has a meme that reconciles Deep Space and Deep Time with human scale:
    The Incarnation.
    Because no matter how big the Universe is, no matter how big God has to be, God still remains on a one-to-one human scale through Incarnation as Jesus Christ. No matter what.

  • Robert Liguori

    Dead Sky, Black Sun goes in my short list (which contains 24 Hours from Sandman and Firefly by Piers Anthony) in Works Where I Stopped In The Middle And Vocalized “That’s Fucked Up.” While Reading, Repeatedly. For good reasons.

  • Launcifer

    Andrew Schlafly: And if you try to deny it, I am 90% certain that you voted for Obama and oppose prayer in schools!
    Hey, at least you got to elect your head of government. I didn’t – and he’s a ‘foreigner’, to boot!
    Night: Happy de-lurking! Have to say, though, that I preferred Mechanicum from the Horus Heresy series.

  • And now we have a Conservative Mathematics Project
    Description, from the Conservative Bible Project talk page:
    Conservative Mathematics Project
    This is a tangent (ha-ha), but I think that this is a brilliant and needed project. There’s also a real need and opportunity to affect the secular world with a Conservative Mathematics Project. I’ve made a start and given the rationale there. I think of the Conservative Bible Project as providing a 100% conservative reference for the spiritual world, and the Conservative Mathematics Project as providing a 100% conservative reference for the physical and political worlds. These are two projects I hope that Isaac Newton would bless. SRFoster 10:53, 12 October 2009 (EDT)

  • Flying sardines

    All Stormtroopers shoot just like Dick Cheney.
    Not so. Dick Cheney actually hits people.

    … & very, very occasionally the stormtroopers do too – but only for wounding or minor characters! ;-)
    My favourite Star Wars line is in the original Star Wars movie (ep. ‘IV A New Hope’) where Obi-Wan and Luke have just discovered the massacred Jawas who sold him R2 & 3PO. Obi-wan says to Luke : “..and these blast points too precise to be anything other than the work of Imperial Storm-troopers.”
    Or something very much like that – after which, naturally, those well trained and equipped military clones seem unable to hit a barn door with a shotgun from a foot away! It cracks me up every time. ;-)

  • Flying sardines

    @ Tricksterson, Commander of the Evil Clown Brigade, Keeper of the Death Sheep and Minion of MG | Oct 09, 2009 at 05:46 PM :
    “On the Nobel hullabaloo gotta agree that while he hasn’t done a bad job as yet, especially with the handicaps he inherited (big honkin’ financial crisis, two major wars) he hasn’t really accomplished much, at least nothing worthy of the Nobel Prize, assuming you think it means anything which I haven’t since they gave it to Yasir Arafat.”
    Well in fairness, that was a joint award to Yitzhak Rabin as well and came in the immediate aftermath of the two leaders Palestinean and Israeli signing the 1993 (or was it 1992?) Oslo Peace Accords. At the time it seemed like a genuine historic break-through. Now not so much true, but you can hardly expect them to be clairvoyant. Arafat did (mostly) stop being a “terrorist”* leader and become a semi-respectable head of state who sort of peacefully, lived with Israel – and the PLO were at least a secular national movement not a group of religious zealots determined to butcher uncompromisingly like Hamas.
    * “Terrorist” of course being a word losing its meaning here to some extent & highly contentious. Arafat was arguably both a “terrorist” and a “national hero / freedom fighter” & also corrupt but semi-legit. dictator at different times & to different people.
    Re the Palestinean-Israeli conflict, & all IMHON :
    Historically, the Palestineans did indeed get a pretty raw deal although its also true to note they really didn’t help themselves here. In this context I look at Rabbi Michael Lerner of the Tikkun group (See http://www.tikkun.com – I think?) as having a lot that’s fairly constructive and valid to say.
    This is a complex issue that has many shades of gray but which predictably each side views only in black & white. Whichever “side” you’re on its easy to to demonise the other or make saints of your own but both have committed many horrific wrongs, both have some justification & some sort of reasonable compromise will have to be found and – *very* much harder to acheive – accepted by the various sides on this issue.
    The most significant problems which have got far worse and made things almost impossible to resolve at present are :
    1) The Hamas Islamic terrorists & their ilk plus the Palestinean civil war between them and the more moderate Fatah-PLO nationalists on the Palestinean side.
    2) The fundamentalist Jewish Settlers on the other who are continuing to settle not just in Israel but also in the captured & occupied Palestinean Territories too – and are thus making a viable Palestinean state ever less likely, harder and more painful to achieve. (Which, ironically, means that Israel ultimately may well be *less* likely to end up as an exclusively Jewish state but rather more a J&P multi-ethnic, multi-religious one – ie. optn ‘b’ not ‘a’ below.)
    Each of these parties Hamas & the settlers is adamantly & violently rejecting the other & neither wants to see a decent compromise solution which, I think, would be along the lines of either
    a) a reasonable and secular Palestinean state existing alongside Israel in peace. (& also in peace with its other regional neighbours – perhaps ultimately some sort of federation of ME states? Natch, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria etc ..will have to change radically for this to be possible too!)
    Or
    b) a shared multi-ethnic combined Israeli-Palestinean nation that is both a Jewish *and* a Palestinean state.
    Since neither side realistically can – or ethically *should* – remove the other then one of those two options will have to result sometime. Probably. Unless we just keep going with perpetual war, bloodshed and suffering for all in the constant lose-lose we’ve got now. :-(
    Alas, with each of those problematic groups noted above implacably opposed to the point of assasinating their own leaders if they suggest concessions, it seems the latter losing future is likely to continue for too durn long. Add in the cycle of violence and mutual hatreds excused & exacerbated by bad “religion” and worse politics & the general despair and hopelessness experienced by moderates on both sides seeing just how intractable the problem has become and then the threats of Iran against Israel and the pro-Israel Christian-Zionist lobby in the West that refuse to countence a solution where Israel makes some sane concessions and the other issues with Israel versus Hizbollah in Lebanon & the ghettoisation of the Palestineans with the “security” /”apartheid” fence Israel has built to “keep out suicide bombers /take more Palestinean land” and the Holocaust’s legacy of understandable paranoia that “the rest of the world is out to get us Jews” and ..ad nauseam, ad nauseam to the mix .. & it all gets overwhelmingly hopeless and sad. :-(
    I wish Obama and any other peace-makers there the very best but, yeah, my short-medium term hopes are slight. They can use all the help they can get & if the Nobel prize committee reckon giving Obama the Peace prize for talking ’bout this helps then I’m in favour.
    All a bit off-topic and a flamebait subject I guess but my humble opinion here for what its worth.
    “Jaw-Jaw is always better than war-war” – a quote from, of all people, Winston Churchill, apparently. ;-)

  • Flying sardines

    I have an SF story vision of a terribly tragic future here too :
    ***
    There is a vast blackened radioactive plain of obsidian glass.
    Two pilgrims are walking on it – one Muslim and the other Jewish.
    They see each other, alone, here to die on their last scared rite of visitation here to this shared Holy Ground.
    Zero, there is, Ground, black and hard and lifeless.
    A blue sky above and far distant shores with nothing else but molten nuclear ruin.
    The pilgrims see each other.
    “You!” Yells the Muslim and his face contorts in hate as he runs towards him fists raised.
    “You!” Screams the Jew and he sprints towards the other enraged.
    They meet and stop just arms lengh apart.
    They stare in each others faces, each other’s tears and the abominable desolation all around them.
    It was once Jerusalem, Al-Aqsa, the Temple Mount, the Golden Mosque… The Holy Land.
    Trnasformed into a nuclear desert fatal, lifeless uninhabitable and now known as the Million Year Burn.
    Because that’s how long it’ll be before anyone can live there long again.
    “We .. Us, .. we both caused this!”
    They embrace in a sudden ephipany of shared humanity, shared loss.
    “Too late my brothers, if we’d only know God gave this to both our peoples and meant us to *Share* ..”
    And then they die in each others arms.
    ***
    … &, yes, the pilgrims could be a Muslim and a Christian or even Christian and Jewish as well..
    I really, really hope this is one SF prophecy that does NOT come true. I fear it very well might. If anyone thinks ithelps you are welcome to use this little parable as suits peace – forward it, edit it, do whatever helps.

  • Flying sardines

    D’oh! Typo. ‘Brothers’ should be ‘brother’ singular as each is addressing the other person. Ie:
    “Too late my brother, if we’d only know God gave this to both our peoples and meant us to *Share* ..”
    I also could have used ‘sister’ of course but somehow it sounded more right to me using ‘brother’ – maybe because the male leaders are more prominently responsible & more likely to cause this calamity? It does seem rare to have uber-religious hating women putting the extreme Israeli or extreme Palestinean cases although there are, sadly, examples. (Notably, a woman IDF spokesperson & more famously the occassional female suicide bomber – and often there’s a really nasty story behind those. Some female suicide bombers, I vaguely gather, were pressured into it over rape, “honour” issues or, well, I hate to think really.)
    Depressingly, the Israelis and Palestineans are (to this educated outsider’s view at least) extremely similar peoples culturally and ethnically. They are fellow Semitic “brothers” & “sisters” with strong historical & geographic connnections – and yet each side seems to really struggle to see the Human face of the other. :-(
    (Or worse, rather than struggle they seem wilfully blind & oblivious of the human face of the other.)

  • Consumer Unit 5012, with certificate and clock

    I think Obama got the Nobel for “Meritorious Conduct In Not Being George W. Bush” – anything he manages above that will just be gravy, as far as the rest of the world’s concerned.

  • malpollyon, Lurker in the Dark Places and Keeper of the Giant Isopods

    I think Obama’s less getting the award for “Not Being Bush” and more getting it for “Successfully keeping Palin away from the big red button”. Which strike me as a pretty big contribution to world peace.

  • There’s a really great article here about how one can merit the Nobel Peace Prize for “Not Doing Anything” here: http://adamcadre.ac/calendar/13034.html

  • Launcifer

    CU5012: I think Obama got the Nobel for “Meritorious Conduct In Not Being George W. Bush” – anything he manages above that will just be gravy, as far as the rest of the world’s concerned.
    Given that Messrs Hitler and Stalin were nominated for a joint prize for agreeing the Molotov/Ribbentrop pact, I think that the world-at-large has a slightly skewed concept of what constitutes “gravy”.

  • Hawker Hurricane

    Given that Messrs Hitler and Stalin were nominated for a joint prize for agreeing the Molotov/Ribbentrop pact, I think that the world-at-large has a slightly skewed concept of what constitutes “gravy”.
    Posted by: Launcifer
    —————————————-
    As a big history buff, I wondered about that. So I went to the Nobel Prize website (NobelPrize.org) and looked. Hitler was nominated in 1939 by a Swedish Fascist, the nomination was withdrawn in September 1939. Stalin was nominated in 1945 (for helping found the U.N.) and 1948 only to have it withdrawn for supporting the communist coup in Czechoslovakia.

  • vanya

    To a non-believer like myself the Conservative Bible project makes perfect sense. How is this any different from what Muhammed did or Joseph Smith? If you believe that the Bible is the revealed Word of God, then how hard is it to believe in a new and better revelation? This is also a very American approach – to tinker and “improve” tradition. I’m surprised, honestly, that it’s taken American conservatives this long to figure out that the Bible they have doesn’t work and that they need a new one. I do think traditional Christians should stand up and tell these Conservatives to stop calling themselves Christians however. “Americanists”,i.e. followers of the Americanist heresy, would be a better label.

  • Flying sardines

    @ vanya | Oct 13, 2009 at 01:04 PM
    I do think traditional Christians should stand up and tell these Conservatives to stop calling themselves Christians however. “Americanists”,i.e. followers of the Americanist heresy, would be a better label.
    Spot on. Although perhaps the term for this anti-Christian heresy should be “Freemarketist” or “Moneyrulesoverallist” or “Stuffyoulotimokayist”? Even perhaps “thatmanist” or “asshattist”?

  • Tricksterson, Commander of the Evil Clown Brigade, Keeper of the Death Sheep and Minion of MG

    Flying Sardines: Very nice, and unfortunately very likely to happen. Reminds me slightly of a story by Poul Anderson only the two antagonists are the Last American Patriot and the Last Communist (was written in the Fifties) and they wind up killing each other because neither can adjust to a world that’s passed them and their respective philosophies by.

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    “Conservapedia founder Schlafly, who described himself as an amateur religious scholar in an interview on the radio program “Liberaland” Wednesday, told host Alan Colmes that even the word “government” is a liberal term that should be stripped out of the Bible, and suggested a suitable synonym could be “tyranny.””
    …and the tyranny shall be upon his shoulders??
    — Wychwood
    Well, I remember a very disturbing radio sermon back in Hal Lindsay’s heyday where the preacher got positively orgasmic over how “After Christ Returns, In The Millenium, NO SIN WILL BE TOLERATED! NO DISSENT WILL BE TOLERATED! HE SHALL RULE WITH A ROD OF IRON!”
    (I don’t remember who this radio preacher was; definitely NOT J Vernon Magee, but with a similar voice and accent, except LOUDER. I also associate that unknown preacher with some sort of obsession on how Christ’s Resurrection Body was “FLESH AND BONE, NOT FLESH AND BLOOD!”)

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    Off-topic, but I’m sure that Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize is only going to add fuel to the Antichrist fire, what with that whole evil “peace” aspect. — Jon
    Well, he’s already shown the Nick-the-Mountain Mind-Whammy powers when it comes to the Media, and his Drooling Fanboys (like the Obama Childrens’ Choir) treat him like a god — or at least their Edward Cullen (sparkle sparkle sparkle)…
    Though I suspect IRL things are actually the other way around — Nicky’s Antichrist Mind Whammy was just Jenkins’ hack writing attempt to dramatize that kind and level of raw charisma.
    As for the Nobel “Screw You George Bush” Prize, morning drive-time where I am mocked the Nobel Committee (not Obama, the Nobel Committee) the entire morning the news broke — mostly “What Contributions to World Peace (TM)? When the nominations closed, he was in office for all of NINE DAYS!” And reminders that Yassir Arafat also won the Prize. And how Al Gore Nobel edged out someone who’d saved 2500+ Jews from the Nazis.

  • Tricksterson, Commander of the Evil Clown Brigade, Keeper of the Death Sheep and Minion of MG

    “FLEASH AND BONE, NOT FLESH AND BLOOD!”
    So Jesus was a vampire?

  • Kit

    I’d love to see those bastards run headlong into original Hebrew scripture. Even that straightforward homosexuality=abomination passage in Leviticus gets complicated. I don’t read Biblical Hebrew, but I’m well-assured by someone who does that that passage is itself an abomination to translate, considering the words have some heavy connotations about pagan incubation rituals and marriage beds and whether it’s alright to have gay sex outside the marriage bed and whether penis fencing counts (okay, that might not be a connotative problem, just a theoretical one)….Biblical Hebrew is confusing, and that’s an EASY passage. I don’t think the Greek and Aramaic are probably as bad, as none of my friends ever spent a year learning about textual translation issues from those languages like the one did Hebrew.

  • Hawker Hurricane

    And reminders that Yassir Arafat also won the Prize. And how Al Gore Nobel edged out someone who’d saved 2500+ Jews from the Nazis.
    Posted by: Headless Unicorn Guy
    —————————–
    It reminds me how Henry Kissinger got one for negotiating peace between North and South Vietnam.