To my ultra-rich readers (in the unlikely event I have any)

To my ultra-rich readers (in the unlikely event I have any) August 23, 2011

Let’s talk utility, efficiency and bang-for-the-buck. Let’s just be tough-minded and clear-headed and consider how to maximize our returns in times like these.

Stocks? Maybe, but it’s a gamble. Likely to get worse before it gets better. Plus there’s the whole volatility aspect — up 300 one day, down 600 the next. Who needs the agita?

So precious metals, maybe? Meh. Good idea about now if you’re looking to buy high and sell low.

Real estate? That’s a chance to buy low and sell lower. No thank you.

Oil? Commodities? See “stocks,” above.

What’s that leave? Well, bonds, I suppose. That’s what everybody’s rushing to buy these days (downgrade schmowngrade) because it seems like the only safe option. And it probably is a safer option. But since everybody’s doing it, the return is next to nothing — almost less than nothing. So while the safety is attractive, the potential returns aren’t.

So OK then. Those seem to be the options. You can either risk losing a big pile of money for the slim chance of a decent return or you can give up on the idea of a decent return just to avoid losing a big pile of money.

But what if I told you there was another option? What if I told you that right now you have a chance to make your money go farther and do more than it ever could have done just four years ago before the world’s economy ground to a halt?

And what if I told you that this option was even safer than bonds — that if you choose this path, you’ll never have to worry about losing everything?

That’s what I’m telling you.

You want a no-risk guarantee of maximum return and the best bang for your buck in these trying times? The solution is simple.

Give it away.

Hear me out. You’d always planned to give some of it away at some point. This is something you’ve always talked about and thought about doing someday. Someday is now. This is your chance to get in on the ground floor.

Right now, every dollar you give is going to go further and do more than it ever could in less desperate times. You could wait until this glacial recovery picks up speed, but if you wait, whatever you give won’t do as much good then as it can do right now.

You’ve always wanted to make sure that anything you gave wasn’t going to waste — that it wouldn’t just get squandered and siphoned up by middlemen without addressing any real needs. Give now, while the need is at its peak. You’ll be shooting at a much bigger target and you’ll be far less likely to miss. If you wait until the economy rebounds, that target will be a whole lot smaller and the likelihood of a good return on your gift will be smaller too.

Need is hot right now. That’s not true of anywhere else you could put your money today. Giving it away is the one investment — right now, in 2011 — that guarantees a maximal return with a minimal risk.

Investigate it for yourself. Pick some reputable cause or charity, something in line with your passion. Read up on their work, their fundamentals, their bottom line. Track back six months and imagine that you had given them, say, $100,000. What would they have accomplished with that money over the last six months?

Now go back six months and imagine you had taken that same $100,000 and invested it in stocks, or precious metals, or bonds. Compare those returns.

Which looks better to you?

The next six months don’t look to be appreciably different. You still have time to get in on this. You still have a chance to eliminate your risk while maximizing your return. Give it away.

(This material represents an assessment of the market environment at a specific point in time and is not intended to be a forecast of future events or a guarantee of future results. This information should not be relied upon by the reader as research or investment advice regarding any stock in particular, nor should it be construed as a recommendation to purchase or sell any security. Past performance does not guarantee future results.)

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