Postcards from the culture wars

Postcards from the culture wars May 1, 2014

Strom Thurmond is the original tea partier.”

“Welfare negroes, the United Nations, sexually devious lawyers, satan, a Chinese solar farm, microchips, secret-agent NPS, a Muslim-Kenyan president, hippies, illegals. Take your pick.”

“It seems that once Americans started trusting in God, they just couldn’t stop, converting every piece of political real estate into a testament of faith that defined our cultural religion against the atheism of the Communist World.”

“Who can resist the deliciousness of having both the upper hand of power and the righteousness of the oppressed?

“Well, unfortunately there’s a whole new generation of gullible people who haven’t been exposed to the debunking, and a whole bunch of trouble-makers who want to spread these insane rumors all over again.”

“Waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.”

“If I die, and discover that the creator of the universe believes that the proper way to worship him is to chase a woman across the street and down the sidewalk waving a pamphlet full of false science at her and calling her a murderer two inches from her face, I will be glad I opted out of such a corrupt system during life.”

“Religion and abortion can and sometimes do mix well at the individual level when patients speak their concerns and are ministered to by compassionate people, be they abortion clinic staff or supportive clergy, who meet them where they are.”

“As many as 1,000 people are expected at the next one, on Thursday at Lone Oak Baptist Church in Paducah, where they will be given a free steak dinner and the chance to win one of 25 handguns, long guns and shotguns. The goal is to ‘point people to Christ,’ the church says in a flier.”

“It keeps the pro-gun community energized and sends a message that the NRA will target anyone hoping to serve in public life if they voice support for gun control.”

“There is no greater freedom than the right to survive and protect our families with all the rifles, shotguns and handguns we want!

“From this day forward, I no longer shall tinker with the machinery of death.”

“Political tampering with the courts and bullying of judges fed a fever that resulted in a state torturing one of its prisoners to death.”

The real-life consequence of a failed 40-year drug war is a kind of pain that is unimaginable until it happens to you.”

“He cannot forgive himself for stealing the pears, but in relative silence he passes over his father’s potential predisposition to beat his mother.”

A subway rat dressed up in a bowtie and top hat is still a subway rat.”

Women are not allowed to marry more than one man.”

“It has never been an issue until these kind of people made it an issue.”

“But don’t keep trying to change things.”

There are so many gay friends of bigots out there you’d think Kinsey got it all wrong and we’re something like half the world’s population.”

“Made a new friend today when I called and apologized to Jahmel Binion. Great dude. #alwayslearning #MYBADCUZ.”


""I'll only say this once: We're not the same. You took an oath to uphold ..."

LBCF, No. 240: ‘GWFL’
"That's true, it really is a whole Human Centipede 2 of bad ideas."

LBCF, No. 240: ‘GWFL’
"Wishing her the best possible results!"

LBCF, No. 240: ‘GWFL’

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