Each night I wait to get caught

Each night I wait to get caught September 25, 2015

• “Yogi was an anchor baby.”

• Mallory Ortberg’s “Style Guide for the Dystopia” is very funny. But, as I’ve noted before, if all the apocalyptic and dystopian movies are right about the End of the World, something like this might one day be necessary:

Screen shot 2015-09-25 at 4.42.42 PM

That screenshot is from the final moments of Resident Evil. The rest of the scene shows abandoned cars and buses and a deserted city in disarray. The assumption, as always, is that when The End comes, everyone will flee — everyone, that is, except for reporters, photographers, graphic designers, copy editors and press operators at the local paper. When the dead walk, or the mother ship descends, or the Old Ones awaken, or the killer asteroid strikes, it is assumed, those poor bastards will head to the office, make another pot of coffee, and crank out the next day’s paper even though there may be no one around to read it.

And, actually, the only thing I find implausible about that assumption is the idea that newspapers might still be around by the time the dystopian apocalypse gets here. (See also.)

Speaker of the House John Boehner announced that he will be turning in his gavel and resigning from Congress in October. I’ve never had much affection or admiration for the man, but I’ve felt quite a bit of sympathy for him over the years as he has tried — and mostly failed and flailed — to do his job. That job, for nearly all of his term as speaker, was made nearly impossible — not by opposition from House Democrats, or by conflict with the Senate, or by the Democratic president, but by constant, insatiable and inchoate revolt from within his own party.

John Boehner has had the task of trying to govern as head of a party that hates government, governing and governance. His party wouldn’t allow him to govern well, and scarcely allowed him to govern at all. So his sudden announcement that he’s walking away from that dysfunctional bunch doesn’t surprise me at all.

• Republican Rep. Pete King lamented the resignation of House Speaker John Boehner, calling it “a victory for the crazies.” That’s astonishing for several reasons, including that: A) Pete King is bemoaning the existence of an irrational, extremist faction in his party; B) King doesn’t regard himself as a part of that faction; and, C) given the current state of the Republican delegation in the House of Representatives, King may even be right about that.

RIP Phyllis Tickle. RIP John McNeill.

• Oprah Winfrey may have some idiosyncratic views that don’t perfectly align with the Athanasian Creed or whatnot. But  — as Scot McKnight shows, at great length — there’s nothing at all unorthodox or unbiblical about her belief, as a young child, that if God was her father, then Jesus was like a brother. (Sub-message: Mess with Oprah, you’re gonna get an earful from Chicago theologians.)

• The “supermoon” lunar eclipse should be visible in my area from around 8 p.m. until around 11:30 Sunday evening. If my current run of skywatching luck continues, that means it will probably be cloudy here in Chester County from, say, 7:30 until about midnight.

But that’s OK, because NASA will have us covered, live-streaming a cloud-free look at the eclipse from multiple locations. Thanks, Obama.

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