Thursday

Thursday 2013-05-11T10:41:18-04:00

I understand that today is a holiday of sorts. Fair enough, but I'm not sure I get the point of this particular holiday. I've got some friends who will certainly be, um, "celebrating" this Thursday, but they also celebrated last Thursday, and, well, every Thursday. And Friday. And Saturday …

But I suppose that just as there are Easter and Christmas Christians, there must be 4/20 'heads.

April 20 is also commemorated by another, malevolent subculture, since it's also Hitler's birthday. The latter celebration is very dangerous and perfectly legal, the former is innocuous, but will get you arrested.

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Rule of thumb: Whenever you hear the most enthusiastic proponents of abstinence-only sex education saying that sex is "sacred," understand that what they really mean is that sex is profane.

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Things I'd like to see: In a bid for ratings with a growing demographic, CNN replaces Lou Dobbs Tonight with Piolín por la noche.

(More on Piolín here, just so you don't get confused with that other Tweety.)

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Here's a useful reference: Is Lost a repeat?

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Marine Capt. Christopher H. Sheppard is shrill.

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Hughes for America is worried that the apocalyptic heresies of Tim LaHaye may be influencing President Bush's foreign policy, echoing precisely why the World's Worst Books and End Times mania are politically dangerous:

When pressed on his actual beliefs, Bush stops short of making public pronouncements that would jeopardize his plans. Last month, in Cleveland, an audience member asked the president whether or not he views the war in Iraq and the rise of terrorism as signs of the apocalypse. His non-answer was as telling as the question itself. What Bush did say, however, offered little reassurance that the president sees his job as anything other than protecting Americans from an enemy that wants us dead.

That's just it: Bush doesn't need to sound like an End Times preacher to have the same effect. Not when everyone else in his party is willing to do the dirty work for him. Since he's been in office, Bush's surrogates have consistently spread the message that not only is God a Republican, but also that the Democratic Party is full of godless pagans who would just as soon take your Bible and allow immorality to reign supreme …

When you've been primed into a rapturous frenzy by the Jerry Falwells, Pat Robertsons and Tim LaHayes of the world, those right-wing refrains are music to your ears. If you think you're headed to heaven in short order, what good are the rest of us to you? Or the environment? Or diplomacy? What good is moderation and bridge-building when your president can bring about the end of the world, which, to you, is a good thing?

I'm not sure that Bush really does think much about the end of the world. The only eschaton he seems concerned about is January 2009, when he leaves office and passes on his unwinnable war, unpayable debt, and eight years of deferred environmental protection to somebody else who will be hard pressed to clean up his mess, not that he really seems to care one way or the other if that mess can be cleaned up.

I am sure that Bush is eagerly and aggressively pandering to the apocalypse-minded disciples of LaHaye, but he's not really like them. They're horribly misguided, and their faith has folded in on itself, mutating into some kind of spiritual plantar wart, but at least they really do believe and aren't just posers pretending to be fans of the devotional writings of Oswald Chambers.

So now I'm trying to figure out which is scarier: The apocalypse-loving fanatic that Hughes fears? Or the recklessly amoral nonfanatic who's perfectly willing to promote an apocalyptic agenda if it serves his short-term political interests?

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Oh, and everything I've heard from the new Regina Spektor is really good.


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