Palm Sunday

Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna!

Palm Sunday is proof of American exceptionalism. While the rest of Christendom celebrates Palm Sunday on a Sunday — more specifically, on the Sunday before Easter Sunday — we white American Christians celebrate the occasion on the third Monday of January.

This is the day we set aside each year to honor the life and legacy of the Rev. Dr. —

Ah, fuck it. Nevermind. Give us Barabbas.

That’s the other exceptional thing about white American Palm Sunday — we can’t even make it a whole week before switching from “Hosanna” to “Give us Barabbas.”

Here’s the first reading from the liturgy for Palm Sunday, from Isaiah 50:4-9:

The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue,
to know the word that sustains the weary.
He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.
The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears;
I have not been rebellious,
I have not turned away.
I offered my back to those who beat me,
my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard;
I did not hide my face
from mocking and spitting.
Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,
I will not be disgraced.
Therefore have I set my face like flint,
and I know I will not be put to shame.
He who vindicates me is near.
Who then will bring charges against me?
Let us face each other!
Who is my accuser?
Let him confront me!
It is the Sovereign Lord who helps me.
Who will condemn me?

That’ll preach.