Doomscrolling: that endless, soul-sucking spiral of bad news and outrage that keeps you glued to your screen like a moth to a particularly depressing flame. It’s a modern pastime that we can all admit to indulging in when we’re not at our best. But let’s not kid ourselves—Christians have their own special version of it, and they’ve wrapped it up in a sanctimonious bow. Let’s call it Biblical Doomscrolling.
Instead of scrolling through headlines of disasters and political fiascos, they’re flipping through scripture, zeroing in on the juiciest bits of wrath, judgment, and impending doom. And of course, they do it under the guise of ‘studying the Word.’ Never mind the verses about love or forgiveness—those are apparently for people who don’t have their sights set on securing that extra-righteous gold star from God.
The Holy Echo Chamber
We’re not breaking new ground here. This is classic echo chamber behavior, only with a divine twist. Instead of endlessly refreshing Twitter for the latest world-ending catastrophe, they’re scouring the Bible for verses that confirm the world is, in fact, a steaming pile of sin heading straight for judgment. That’s not just doomscrolling—that’s doomscrolling with eternal consequences. And let’s be honest, it’s less about spiritual growth and more about flexing some pseudo-pious muscle.
Forget about diving into the Gospels to get the good stuff. That’s way too cheerful. They’re wading into the Old Testament’s greatest hits, like a greatest disaster playlist that makes you feel like you’re in the know, like you’re on the right team, the winning team. Revelations, anyone? Now that’s a real page-turner if you’re into watching the world burn, even if it’s only in theory.
Comfort in Chaos
There’s a strange comfort to it, isn’t there? Just like doomscrolling through the news, Biblical Doomscrolling gives you the sense that you’re clued in, prepared for whatever divine smackdown might be around the corner. And hey, if the Almighty’s got it out for everyone but you, all the better. It’s like a twisted security blanket—you don’t actually have to engage with the world’s messiness or, God forbid, get your hands dirty helping others. Just quote some scripture and call it a day.
This is about control. Knowing that the world’s circling the drain, and feeling like you’ve got a front-row seat with the divine scorecard right in your lap. It’s the holy version of stockpiling canned goods and building a bunker, except instead of beans, it’s Bible verses about God smiting sinners. Fun times.
Selective Reading for Maximum Effect
We’ve all seen it. Selective Bible reading is practically an art form—if art was about ignoring half the content to hyper-focus on the bits that make you feel morally superior. They’re not scrolling through the Beatitudes or getting cozy with the Good Samaritan. No, they’re mainlining Leviticus, like it’s some kind of endurance test in righteousness.
If you’re a fan of disaster movies where everyone dies in the end, then yeah, the Old Testament is your jam. But let’s not pretend this is about seeking truth or enlightenment. It’s more like curating a personal playlist of divine smackdowns to keep your moral outrage finely tuned and ready to fire off at a moment’s notice.
Missing the Good News for the Bad
At the end of the day, it’s just spinning your wheels. It’s the holy equivalent of scrolling through social media feeds full of doom and gloom without ever actually doing anything about it. There’s a whole New Testament full of teachings that could maybe inspire some personal growth, but who’s got time for all that introspection when there’s a perfectly good apocalypse to get ready for?
So, here’s to all the Biblical doomscrollers out there: keep at it. Maybe one day, the irony will sink in that the Good News was never about validating your worst fears, but who needs that kind of revelation when you’ve got a whole book of bad news to keep you warm?
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