How ‘God’s Will’ Became A Campaign Strategy

Lance Wallnau has earned a spot in the Christian Crazy Hall of Fame on Snarky Faith. If you’re not familiar with him, don’t worry—you will be soon.

You’ve got to hand it to Wallnau. Not everyone can get 700 people to believe that the path to eternal life involves campaigning for Donald Trump and JD Vance. But here we are, America, where reality has taken a detour, and apparently, immortality is just a voter registration drive away. You might think this sounds absurd, but Wallnau’s traveling circus—sorry, I mean, Courage Tour—has turned into the hottest show in town for anyone looking to mix prophecy with politics.

So what’s the pitch this time? Well, according to Wallnau, your ticket to cheating death involves becoming a poll watcher or knocking on doors for Trump. God apparently has a list of “unfulfilled assignments” that’ll keep you out of the grave as long as you’re passing out MAGA flyers. Because, sure, that’s how divine plans work now. Forget miracles; the key to eternal life is canvassing in swing states.

The Prophecy Hustle

Wallnau’s revival isn’t just a church service; it’s a campaign strategy session wrapped in a Pentecostal bow. The man’s managed to fuse PowerPoint slides with speaking in tongues, turning a basic political rally into a bizarre mashup of spiritual warfare and multi-level marketing. And at the center of this cosmic pyramid scheme is—you guessed it—Donald Trump, who’s apparently on a mission from God to save America from the “forces of evil.” If you’re wondering when the Bible started reading like a bad action movie script, so am I.

Here’s where it gets fun: Wallnau’s followers are all in. They’re convinced Trump is some modern-day Cyrus the Great, destined to lead them to the promised land of low taxes and high drama. And somehow, they’ve managed to ignore the fact that Trump couldn’t tell you a Beatitude from a Big Mac if his life depended on it. But hey, when you’re selling a prophecy, who’s got time for details?

Spiritual Warfare or Just Campaigning?

Wallnau’s favorite phrase is “spiritual warfare,” but let’s be real—it’s just code for political power-grabbing. His followers aren’t battling “the gates of hell”; they’re just trying to make sure their guy wins the next election. And yet, they’ve somehow managed to convince themselves that casting a vote is the equivalent of smiting demons. This is what happens when you mix religion with a Red Bull-fueled obsession with political dominance. They’re not interested in finding Jesus; they’re interested in finding a path to the White House.

And that’s the rub. The whole thing is a cosmic joke—if it weren’t so terrifyingly real. Wallnau isn’t peddling faith; he’s peddling fear, and it sells like hotcakes to anyone desperate for a sense of purpose. The folks under that big white tent aren’t there to save souls—they’re there to save America, one conspiracy theory at a time.

When Politics Becomes a ‘Divine’ Mandate

Here’s where it goes off the rails: Wallnau and his crew have turned their beliefs into a zero-sum game, where anyone who isn’t on Team Trump is automatically a minion of Satan. They’ve convinced themselves they’re on a holy mission to rid America of evil, and they’ll do it by any means necessary—facts, logic, and basic decency be damned. When you start believing your political opponents are literal demons, you’re not just playing a dangerous game—you’ve chucked the rulebook out the window.

This isn’t faith; it’s fanaticism dressed up in a suit and tie. It’s a quest for power masked as a spiritual journey. And what’s worse is that Wallnau’s managed to rebrand religious zealotry as a patriotic duty. He’s not saving souls—he’s stirring the pot, and it’s bubbling over with bad theology and even worse intentions.

Blurring the Line Between Church and State

Wallnau’s vision is clear as mud: a future where America bows to a Christian nationalist agenda, one Trump rally at a time. It’s not about bringing people to God—it’s about bringing them to the polls. And if you’re scratching your head, wondering when faith became a stepping stone to political power, welcome to the club. Turns out, the line between church and state isn’t just blurred; it’s been erased, redrawn, and then scribbled over with a Sharpie by folks who think God’s only job is to be their campaign manager.

You see, Wallnau’s game is simple: convince enough people that Trump is the chosen one, and suddenly, politics isn’t just a dirty business—it’s a divine mandate. It’s a power grab in Jesus’ name, and if that doesn’t make you question everything you thought you knew about faith, then congratulations, you’re probably already on the mailing list.

The Gospel According to Trump

As someone who’s been inside organized religion and watched it warp into something unrecognizable, I’ve seen this dance before. Wallnau and his traveling band of prophets aren’t bringing anyone closer to God. They’re bringing them closer to the ballot box, and they’re doing it with a wink, a nod, and a shofar blast for good measure. They’ve turned Christianity into a political rally, where the altar call involves pledging your vote instead of your soul.

And as we march toward yet another election cycle with shofars blaring and tongues wagging, you’ve got to wonder: When did following Jesus mean following a political candidate?

Maybe that’s the real prophecy we should be paying attention to—that in their quest for power, Wallnau and his crew have lost sight of the very thing they claim to be fighting for.