Listen More Than Talking
To make a positive connection with our kids, we need to be a good listener. “We should be slow to speak and always with a ready, non-judgmental ear,” Polanco said.
“Listening is easy, but actually hearing is more difficult,” explained McGregor. For example, when a child says, “I had a bad day at school today,” a parent might respond with, “Well, tomorrow is a new day.” What the parent missed is that the child “is reaching out for support,” she said. Asking follow up questions like, “What happened?” and “How did that make you feel?” strengthens the relationship and bond by showing that the parent cares while also helping the parent find out about any issues that might need attention.
“One of the best ways to connect with our kids of all ages, is to truly listen to them, see them and know them. We were given two ears and one mouth for a reason and many parents use their mouths more than their ears,” said Bette Alkazian, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Southern California. “Kids are always trying to tell us what is happening with them. Even bad behavior is a cry out to hear them!”