Creating Parent-Teacher Partnerships

Partnering together
My bachelor uncle was my Disney-dad father figure whom I loved to be with. Sometimes he let me do things that Mom might not have, but I always knew who had the final authority. And once my uncle knew my mom didn’t approve of something, he supported her decisions. For nearly five years, he partnered with her to raise my brother and me. It was also obvious that Mom respected my uncle in the role he played in our lives.

Whether a teacher or a parent, respect and support should go both ways. Forming a partnership as parent and teacher keeps the child’s best interests at heart, and it models a healthy relationship to the child. But that’s not always as easy as it sounds. Sometimes parents see their child’s teacher or caregiver as a threat to their personal place in the child’s life.

Melissa’s mom seemed to undermine my authority as a teacher at every turn. When I taught the children how to ties shoes with bunny ears, she re-taught her daughter “the right way” with the ‘round-the-tree method. I felt that she tried to undermine my teaching and that I could do nothing right, so partnering with her seemed impossible. But I chose not to reciprocate. When Melissa’s mom questioned something I taught, I affirmed her as Melissa’s mother in front of both Melissa and her. But nothing seemed to change.

Then Melissa’s mom had a marriage crisis, and I had the opportunity to support her through it. Shoe tying and methods of learning no longer became a focal point of contention, and in the midst of this tough time Melissa’s mother grew to respect, support and honor me, and I her. In fact, we became friends.

Parents with personal challenges and/or self-esteem issues can be tough to break through, but focusing on the common love you have for the child can help to build a bridge of partnership. And the child is better for it all—little Melissa blossomed because her mother and I formed a partnership together instead of allowing a spirit of competition to poison her.

Teamwork
Because my mother worked the 3-11 nursing shift, Grandma was my primary caregiver. I was her little shadow and thought of her as my best friend. But I also knew that Grandma was my mother’s teammate in raising my brother and me, and I understood that Mom was number one. Though I knew Mom and Grandma didn’t always agree with each other’s methods, my brother and me reaped the benefits of that teamwork.

Though I didn’t realize it then, I now know that forming a team takes sacrifice, unselfishness, and hard work. When I started teaching in the same school my children attended, it was challenging. I was teaching my son’s teacher’s daughter, and she made it clear that she was a veteran teacher and I was the rookie. Because of this, lines of authority seemed to blur, emotions got in the way, and working together as teammates became difficult.

Tensions rose to a frenzied level when her daughter, who was in my sixth grade class, cheated on a test, and I caught her. That same week, my son was being silly in his reading circle and was disciplined for being “foolish.” Well, my cheating student was foolish too, but I felt a measure of mercy might smooth the tension between her mother and me. After a challenging discussion, we committed to live in peace and worked hard to become team players.

As we gently mentor our student’s parents, as we partner with them, and as we build a team for the sake of our children, we will, in turn, build a foundation in which the child can flourish and build lasting relationships. In fact, today, I am Facebook friends with dozens of my former students and their parents, and I am reaping the reward of lifetime friendships built during my teaching years.

About Susan Mathis
Susan Mathis taught preschool and middle school for 13 years. She’s a versatile writer and author of The Fabric of Hope: An Irish Family Legacy. Susan has two Tyndale nonfiction books, Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage and The ReMarriage Adventure: Preparing for a Life of Love and Happiness. She is also the author of two published picture books, Lexie’s Adventure in Kenya: Love is Patient and Princess Madison’s Rainbow Adventure. Learn more at www.SusanGMathis.com.