Grandparents Joy
King Solomon wrote in his book of Proverbs that Grandchildren are the crown of grandparents, and parents are the glory of their children. When a couple gets married, there are always some expectations and oftentimes pressure from their parents to grow through family by having kids. Grandparents find great joy in being bequeathed with grandchildren and find happiness in relating to the small ones. Grandkids often resemble grandparents more than parents, and this creates a special bond between them. Grandparents and grandchildren bonding is a blessing!
When a grandchild arrives, people look forward to a new and important role in supporting their grandchild’s parents. This can range from practical support, like cooking meals, to emotional support,t, like listening to worries. Grandchildren are a second chance in life for grandparents, to love, cherish, as well as rectify certain mistakes people have made in their lives while raising their own children. That’s why they are special to the grandparents, and the latter really dote on them and often spoil them.
Grandparents are at an age and stage of life when they almost become like children, and thus, can interact with these small ones very well. They can stoop down to their level and really enter into the world of the child in a way that parents are not able to or cannot even have time or patience or occasion for it. Grandchildren are the saving grace of people in their old age, and a blessing as well as a comfort in their frail times!
Being a parent is taxing and stressful while being a grandparent is relaxing and peaceful, fulfilling and enjoyable!
Grandparents Grace
One reason basic reason grandparents can depend on grandchildren and oblige them is that they no longer have the pressure of being parents and raising their kids. Grandkids’ antics and capers tend to delight and charm them, while parents would be appalled by their kids’ stunts. I’ve often stood by and watched with amazement my parents indulging my kids in something that they never gave my siblings or me the liberty to do. The reason for this is that grandparents are free from their parental and parenting responsibilities and, therefore, can enjoy grandchildren as they are.
Another fact is that older folks now have the leisure to think back on their past, and time to analyze their actions, weighing them in the light of wisdom of their age. They’re able to maturely pinpoint their fears and tensions that made them respond to their own kids’ behaviour with harshness or in hast. They realize the mistakes they might have made while raising their children, wishing they had been more relaxed in handling and raising their own kids. Their regret causes them to be more accommodating as grandparents and understanding with their grandkids, accepting them as they are!
Grandparents have also grown, both in experience and in wisdom, and in the passage of years, they have seen that things will turn out right. Equipped now with a positive outlook, they have a more lenient way of dealing with grandkids and can put up with their behavioural discrepancies or deficiencies. They are calmer, quieter, more stable and hopeful, and therefore, can enjoy and express their love more outwardly. Grandparents can celebrate and make much of grandchildren, triggering an equally ardent response and reciprocation, vocally and in action, from their young ones.
Grandparenting Limits
Being a grandparent is a task that needs great care and attention since you’re becoming involved in another family.
Grandparents must always have a sense and develop an acumen to know when to step in, and when to step back from their grandchildren’s life. Parents have enough on their hands in raising the little ones that your lack of wisdom can stress them out. You must know the limits of your relationship and not abuse the freedom and rights parents give to you in their children’s lives as grandparents. It is important to respect and treat your grandkids as another parent’s children, and are part of another family. For sure, you do have a role in that family, but you must give due regard to their boundaries and limits. Do not interfere in the way they handle their kids or the restrictions they put on their kids, unless and until invited to do so.
Never undermine or disrespect the authority of the parent unless there is some abuse or neglect in the equation. Do not edge them out of their position and usurp their place in their kids’ lives just because they’re your grandchildren. Parents have the first say in their kids’ lives, and we cannot in any way replace them or repress them. You may think that their parent is not raising them wrong or unwisely, but give space for them to grow in their parenting skills. Don’t pounce on them and try to correct them, remembering that you also were once a parent, and have made mistakes.
It is important not to speak negatively to grandchildren about their own parents, and thus foster rebellious attitudes or speech. If you have a grouse against your son or daughter, take time to talk directly to them to sort out your concerns with them directly, not indirectly. Never speak evil of them to their own kids, which is also Biblical. Love covers a multitude of faults, and your love for your children should help cover, not expose their faults. They have enough opposition or negatives without you adding to their pile. Don’t try to get back at them for their past mistakes, their present neglect of you, or some imagined/real hurts!
Grandparenting Goals
It is a privilege to be a grandparent since you are in a unique place to influence, impact, and guide your grandkids in wisdom, knowledge and understanding of life and living.
Nowhere is this so important as in teaching and guiding them in the ways and precepts of God, laying the foundation of a life lived pleasing God. Your focus should be more on teaching them how to know God, learn His ways through His Word, be part of the community of faith, and carry the gospel to the nations. We are reminded of the legacy of sincere faith that Timothy had from his grandmother Lois and Obed from Naomi, who became a nursemaid for the son born of Ruth. I know of many grandmothers in my church who would enrol their grandkids in Sunday School in VBS and go the extra mile to collect and escort them from their homes. Even if their parents were not saved or following Christ, grandchildren can be influenced by grandparents to decide to follow Christ. Many older folks in the church can spend their substance to help neighbor kids, or volunteer to look after them by involving in these activities, and thus, be soulwinners!
Invest in grandchildren, spending time, effort, and money to help them develop habits of faith by rewarding them when they memorize scripture, funding their youth camps, praying for them as they go through difficult times in their lives, etc. Stay abreast of their progress in education, sports, and other extra or co-curricular activities, and nurture their budding talents, gifts, abilities, and aptitudes. Be an example in thought, word, and deed for them to emulate, taking care that your actions and reactions are measured, and not impulsive or random. These young ones look up to you and can be easily offended, though they do easily forgive too.
Grandparents are a great blessing to parents when the kids grow through the teen phase since they can be the bridge between the generations, soothing ruffled feathers and calming stormy tempers. Grandchildren tend to be more open and receive advice or rebuke from grandparents than parents, for the former is known to be gentle and understanding. Parents usually are going through midlife crises or premenopausal when their kids are passing through teenage, and so both are battling their own securities and demons of doubt. Grandparents can be the link between them, building and bolstering relationships, enabling and opening lines of communication between the two. My parents have helped gently insist on changes with my sons when they used to rebel against me, but can’t resist their input. They also helped my children pick up several life skills, such as cooking, cleaning, driving, road rules, sports, games, etc.
Word to the Family
Children and grandchildren, be careful not to take your grandparents and elders in the family for granted. Do not hurt them by your neglect of them, by isolating yourself from them, or by not keeping in touch with them. A few years down the line, they would be gone, and you would be bereft of their influence and input. If you search then for them, you won’t have them, and can’t have them back even if you long for them. When they’re alive and healthy, honour and respect them, spend time with them during festivals and generally enjoy their company whenever possible. When they have passed on to glory, all you will be left with is guilt and sadness, and the thought that you’ve lost a valuable confidant, friend, and prayer warrior.
Nothing can compensate for the lack of an ardent supporter, committed intercessors, and constant well-wishers who never turn their backs on you. Often today, grandparents fill the space and keep the house when parents need to be in the office or out at work. They do it selflessly and ungrudgingly, often not even expecting any returns or even thanks. When you have them around, take care to give them honour, respect, and love, which are the only things they want and need. Pray for them, and uphold them when they are too old and weak to care for themselves.
Grandkids, it’s a privilege and a blessing to have extended family, especially grandparents, so make use of the time you have with them.
Grandparents and grandkids bonding is precious, rare, and of great value. Treasure it!
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