I’ll throw down with Tony Jones any day and talk about God. Gladly. In fact, that’s what spiritual directors do all the time. It’s our job to draw people’s attention to how they are experiencing God (although they or we might use a thousand different names for the creator). And while I don’t offer my own theology in spiritual direction very often (sessions are never about me) I am pretty transparent about who God is for me, especially if asked point-blank.... Read more
What does spiritual direction actually do for a person? How can we assess whether this practice is contributing to our spiritual growth? It takes time and the power of observation, but those questions can be answered rather concretely. The longer you see a spiritual director who gets to know you quite well, the easier it is for both of you to evaluate spiritual growth over time. Usually, the directee is the one who definitively names what they have seen happening... Read more
Discernment doesn’t have to be some heavy, serious, complicated process. Just this week I was reading a denominational booklet designed to help churches discern their growth strategy, and it was exhausting to read all the intricate instructions. It even suggested that groups spend time discerning whether or not to use that particular discernment model. You can see how such instructions can easily discourage people from moving forward. I like a good process as much as the next guy, but I... Read more
Sometimes you just need a simple, practical way to explore your choices. For that, we turn to our Methodist friends. 18th century preacher and theologian John Wesley—founder of Methodism—believed we needed to take four factors into consideration when navigating choices in the Christian life: scripture, tradition, reason and experience. I like the visual nature of this process. It looks and feels stable. While Wesley himself probably never referred to this as a process or even as a “quadrilateral” (which is... Read more
If you don’t know enough about Quakers to stand in utter awe of their understanding of discernment, it’s time you learned. For centuries, The Society of Friends—popularly called Quakers—has been promoting discernment-in-community both for individuals and groups (especially their business meetings). Say a young Quaker couple wants to get married. They are advised to be part of what is called a “Clearness Committee,” a group of wise and trusted members of the meeting convened to pray in silence and ask... Read more
Not everyone wants or needs a step-by-step process for spiritual discernment. But for those who do, you can do no better than a process based on St. Ignatius’ principles for the discernment of spirits. Many books on discernment will give you outlines that look something like this: Stage One: The Preparation Begin in silent prayer. When you think from your deepest, truest self, what is your burning desire in life right now? (Keep it concrete, and be as specific as... Read more
You could fill a library with books written about spiritual discernment. Here’s a distillation of what some of the better ones have to say. I have noticed about 12 key principles always mentioned in writings about discernment. They come from the Christian traditions of St. Ignatius (Catholic) and the Society of Friends (Quakers). When at a crossroads and in need of discernment, consider these principles and ask yourself the corresponding questions to get to the heart of the matter. Discernment... Read more
Out of our awareness of God and our trust in God grows the practice of discernment. Discernment asks the question, “What is God’s presence inviting me to be or do in this situation?” Whenever we come to an important choice in life—what work to pursue, who to be in relationship with, how to spend our time, effort and money—we can do our best to discern what God desires for us. Spiritual directors, especially those trained in discernment, can help you... Read more
Many people come to spiritual direction wanting to better understand an experience of God from their past. Perhaps it was something that happened in prayer or worship. Or it might have been an experience in daily life that opened them to a deeper sense of being loved by God. A spiritual director is trained to help you remember times when you felt close to God or felt “at one with the universe.” If we stay with the memory and allow... Read more
Silence is sometimes referred to as God’s first language. But how you feel about silence probably has a lot to do with your personality type, your neurological make-up and your upbringing. Introverts may be more comfortable with silence than extroverts. People who were punished with “the silent treatment” may avoid silence at all costs. No matter how you feel about quieting down and being in silence, I’m going to encourage you to befriend it. Even if you can only be... Read more
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