I’m proud to honor this heritage and will be honoring it more and more. The folks at the table in almost all cases have been great friends and supporters. Darrell—I met Darrell when he was defending me on television. And the people that were on the other side of the argument didn’t have a chance, right? And Paris has done an amazing job in a very hostile CNN community. He’s all by himself. You’ll have seven people, and Paris. And I’ll take Paris over the seven. But I don’t watch CNN, so I don’t get to see you as much as I used to. I don’t like watching fake news. But Fox has treated me very nice. Wherever Fox is, thank you.
He’ll always have Paris. If I were in Paris, I’d go to the Louvre and bask in all that beauty for a long, long time. Let’s look at something from the Louvre, just to soothe our troubled spirits.
This is my actual face right now.
Now, back to Donald Trump:
We’re gonna need better schools and we need them soon. We need more jobs, we need better wages, a lot better wages. We’re gonna work very hard on the inner city. Ben is gonna be doing that, big league. That’s one of the big things that you’re gonna be looking at. We need safer communities and we’re going to do that with law enforcement. We’re gonna make it safe. We’re gonna make it much better than it is right now. Right now it’s terrible, and I saw you talking about it the other night, Paris, on something else that was really—you did a fantastic job the other night on a very unrelated show.
I think that, if I were going to write a book on how to annoy black people, I would use this as an example. Start by mentioning “inner cities.” Refer to your African-American Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, who is a grown man and a doctor, by his first name with no honorific several times. Talk obsessively about law enforcement for safety and pretend this has something to do with Black History Month. A very unrelated show, indeed.
I’m ready to do my part, and I will say this: We’re gonna work together. This is a great group, this is a group that’s been so special to me. You really helped me a lot. If you remember I wasn’t going to do well with the African-American community, and after they heard me speaking and talking about the inner city and lots of other things, we ended up getting—and I won’t go into details—but we ended up getting substantially more than other candidates who had run in the past years. And now we’re gonna take that to new levels. I want to thank my television star over here—Omarosa’s actually a very nice person, nobody knows that. I don’t want to destroy her reputation but she’s a very good person, and she’s been helpful right from the beginning of the campaign, and I appreciate it. I really do. Very special.
I can’t snark this. I can’t literally even. We need to look at another painting.
ALL THE PAINTINGS.
So I want to thank everybody for being here.
Don’t mention it, Mr. President. No, seriously. Don’t ever open your mouth again.
(First image via pixabay. All other images are works of art in the public domain)
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