A Sober Discourse About Pornography

I heard the sound of people enjoying themselves. “Ooooh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah! Yeah, this is great!” said an intensely stupid-sounding young woman.

“Oooooh, yeah,” said a stupider-sounding man.

“You see?” said my mother.

“Okay,” my father said nervously.

“Ooh yeah! This is great! Oh! Oh!” said the stupid woman more emphatically.

“Oooooh, yeah,” said the man.

“You see? It’s pornography. Just like I told you.”

“Okay. I was wrong.”

“You didn’t believe me, but it’s right there.”

I opened my eyes for a moment. I couldn’t help myself. The television was two paces from my bed; everything in the room was two paces from my bed. I don’t even think a saint could squeeze her eyes closed for the entire time a stupid couple had exaggerated fake sex two paces from her bed.

All I saw was a nipple, and that was quite enough. I didn’t know a nipple could look like that. I am now, seventeen years later, a married woman who breastfed a daughter of my own, and I still don’t think a nipple really can look like that. It wasn’t at all arousing to me, it just looked painful.

“Ooooooh, yeah,” said the man.

I closed my eyes again.

My mother turned back to the Biography Channel. “I just wanted you to see that I was right.”

“You were right and I was wrong,” said my father in a nauseated tone.

My mother still doesn’t understand why I don’t speak to her or let her near my daughter.

So, what do I know about pornography? Based upon my exposure I know that it’s yucky, exploitative and uncreative. I think the nipples are actually prosthetic. The dialogue is the worst I’ve ever heard. You shouldn’t watch it; you should watch something fun and clever, like Game of Thrones or Farscape or The Handmaid’s Tale. 

But you and I also need to take care that our outrage doesn’t turn into obsession over someone else’s sin, and that that doesn’t mutate into looking for sin under every rock. Next thing we know, our pride has blinded us to our own sins, and you’re showing your husband and daughters a porno in a cheap motel by the wharf. Such things can happen.

And if you’re going to watch cable television (or streaming video or whatever the kids call it these days), there are far more interesting things than porn.

(image via Pixabay)