When Mary Lost Jesus

A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Luke:

Each year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the feast
of Passover, 
and when he was twelve years old, 
they went up according to festival custom.
After they had completed its days, as they were returning, 
the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, 
but his parents did not know it.
Thinking that he was in the caravan,
they journeyed for a day
and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, 
but not finding him,
they returned to Jerusalem to look for him.
After three days they found him in the temple, 
sitting in the midst of the teachers, 
listening to them and asking them questions, 
and all who heard him were astounded 
at his understanding and his answers.
When his parents saw him,
they were astonished, 
and his mother said to him, 
“Son, why have you done this to us?
Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.”
And he said to them,
“Why were you looking for me?
Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”
But they did not understand what he said to them.
He went down with them and came to Nazareth,
and was obedient to them; 
and his mother kept all these things in her heart.
And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor
before God and man.

It’s not a sin to make a mistake.

This we know, because we know, through the Church, that Mary never sinned– but we also know, through the Gospels, that Mary assumed her Son was with his stepfather, and Saint Joseph in turn assumed that He was with his mother, and the two ended up accidentally leaving their only child in Jerusalem. They left him to his own devices for an entire day. They looked like the worst parents in the world.

It’s not a sin to lose Jesus.

This we know, because Mary, who never sinned, lost Jesus.

She was such a holy woman that she became pregnant by the Holy Spirit. The angel greeted her with “Ave!” and the wife of the priest prophesied in her presence. But Mary lost Jesus for the day when she thought He was with His father, and then she couldn’t find Him for three days more. Here was a person so highly favored by God that an archangel greeted her with “Ave, full of grace!” and yet she lost Jesus.

It’s not a sin to not know where to look for Jesus.

Of this we can be sure, because Mary looked for Jesus for three whole days, and didn’t find Him. I don’t know where she was looking. I don’t know why she didn’t think to go to the temple first. Maybe she did go to the temple, but not to that part. But Mary, who had never done a single thing wrong on purpose, could not find Jesus for seventy-two hours. That is something that will happen in your spiritual life, whether you’re good or not.

And then she found Him again.

He was sitting in the midst of the teachers, asking them questions.

It’s never wrong to ask people questions and learn from them. In fact, it’s God the Father’s business. We know this because Jesus, who was truly God and knew everything, was about the Father’s business, asking teachers questions and hearing the wisdom they had to offer. That is what you are supposed to do. That is one way the Father reveals Himself. And besides, if you’re a teacher like Jesus, asking people questions and learning what they have to say is an excellent way to teach.

Mother Mary was not amused. She was astonished. “Son, why have you done this to us?”

It’s not a sin to yell at Jesus, “Why did you do this to me?” You’re only praying like the Blessed Virgin did if you yell at Jesus.

“Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety!”

It’s not a sin to have anxiety– not the mental illness known as anxiety, and not the everyday emotion known as anxiety either. Neither are wrong. Fear is not a lack of trust in God; Mary trusted perfectly. Fear is not a sign of pride and thinking it all depended on you; Mary was perfectly humble and knew it all depended on God. Fear is not a failure of any kind. Fear is a feeling, and feelings aren’t sins. But they do hurt sometimes.

The sword of sorrow pierced Mary’s heart, and this wasn’t wrong.

“Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them.

It’s not a sin to misunderstand what Jesus says to you. Even the Virgin Mary did.

Sin is something else all together.

He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them;  and his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.

Eventually she would lose Him again, in an even worse and more terrible way, and on the third day she would find Him again.

And so will we.