Fear in and of itself is not sinful in God’s eyes as it is a basic human emotion; when it comes to parenting, it is only natural to feel fearful at times as being charged with the care of tiny humans is both the best and scariest job we ever take on. Life experiences sometimes include trauma, which contributes to how we process our circumstances, and that is okay. God wants us to bring our fears, anxiety, and worries to him.
Sick Kids Often Equals Fear in Parents:
One thing that often stirs parental fear is when our children get sick. And they rarely spike that 103-degree temperature during doctor’s office hours. For example, we didn’t expect the main course this Thanksgiving to be Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV); we certainly could have done without the COVID casserole on the side. The five of us were the picture-perfect image of health and wellness. Let me tell you, two kids under eight years old who do not know how to blow their noses set the stage for an overstimulating cacophony with the combination of hacking and gagging that echoed throughout the house. The dogs hid under the bed; honestly, I wanted to join them. Our babies’ precious little faces were red and tear-streaked with viscid, slippery green snot that stretched from their nostrils to their ears. It was the kind of mucus that could have walked straight off their faces and made a fortune selling cold and flu medicine.
After three days of high-ish fevers that registered in milliseconds from touching the hot, tender flesh under their small arms, the youngest of our three children stopped eating and drinking altogether. We knew, given his medical history, that complications were possible and often feared that if he were to get this sick, dehydration could be the least complicated of those severe possibilities. And dehydrated he did indeed become, which led us to the children’s emergency department. Fear. Let’s talk about that. As Christians, we are often told that to be fearful is sinful or disrespectful to God. Is it? I had a week in the isolation unit at the hospital with our five-year-old to contemplate the concept of fear as a Christian.
What The Bible Says About Fear:
On one hand, the bible tells us to bring our fears to God’s feet and leave them there. Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken” (HCSB). But on the other hand, fear is a basic human instinct. To further complicate matters, I feel like previous life traumas contribute to how we process fear. It most certainly can amplify it. This gives way to the enemy to use our trauma response to divide us from God, thus perpetuating a cycle.
Let’s get back to our five-year-old. He had a rare seizure disorder as a baby. It was successfully treated—only 15% of children who share his diagnosis experience this outcome. The neurologist who treated him even gave credit for the healing where it was due, calling him a miracle baby. Never have we ever hit our knees as hard as we did to pray the blood of Jesus over our sweet miracle baby like we did when he was just six months old. This event, as his mama, has stayed with me ever since. With no effort at all, I can flash right back and see in my mind’s eye every cluster of seizures. I can picture the before-sunrise routine of helping my husband give him his ACTH injection. When I think back on it, I can practically smell the lidocaine on his chubby little thigh.
When the pandemic first hit, the neurologist cautioned that he could be at a higher risk. Couple that statement with the news coverage and death toll. I was fearful, and I couldn’t help it. That fear doesn’t come from sin like it says in the bible. I believe in my heart that God knows that. He makes a distinction. That doesn’t necessarily mean I should writhe in my panic over it. I should pray and discuss it with God. I must do everything possible to keep myself calm so I can be strong enough to care for my babies. After all, God trusts me to do this as their mother. Philippians 4:6-7 Discusses practical council with God, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guide your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (HCSB).
Fears Lessen With Experience:
The other thing is that we grow in parenthood along with our kids. When our little guy was in the hospital as an infant, I cried the entire time. I couldn’t breathe through the fear. But I was never alone. I knew God was there. I felt His presence. He knew my heart at that moment. It wasn’t sinful. It was His child needing comfort. This hospital stay, by contrast, was not to the emergency level that the previous was; however, I felt His presence with us just the same but managed the experience in a more mature way that benefited my mental health in the moment as well as aided in my ability to comfort my child. That’s not to say that fear was absent from the equation. It whispered in the back of my mind like fear tends to do. I heard it but was better equipped to hold it back this time. It didn’t hurt that I heard God louder, reassuring me that the doctors were blessed with the knowledge to treat my baby and that he improved each day we were there. There was a moment when a doctor threw out the possibility of needing a feeding tube. I forgot to breathe briefly, but our little boy turned the corner and improved enough to avoid that procedure.
Friends, Christians aren’t perfect. Fear is a normal human emotion. God knows that. Additionally, parenting is not for the squeamish; He knows that too. Psalm 127:3 says, “Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, children, a reward” (HCSB). I interpret this to mean that if He trusts us with the gift that our children are, we are more equipped than we often think. What’s more, He doesn’t expect us to be fearless. He only expects us to bring our fears to Him. Through that relationship, we are at our best to handle all of the topsy-turvy that parenting offers, even with all its sleepless nights and coffee-fueled mornings. Philippians 4:13 says, “I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me” (HCSB). In other words, if you are in a season of fearfulness or, in different ways, feel ill-equipped, remember that you aren’t in it alone and were never meant to be. You got this!
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