It Is Okay If All You Did Last Year Was Survive!

I wanted to write an encouraging New Year article or something about making achievable resolutions. Try as I might, I just could not put words to paper. I think 2023 left me feeling… drained. That is when I realized I may not be the only one rowing a leaking boat into 2024. Did you notice the many memes circulating on social media after Christmas that shared that sentiment? They said, “Hey, if you only managed to survive the year, that’s okay!” It’s true: it is okay if all you did last year was survive. So, let’s talk about survival mode.

Celebrate Surviving A Tough Year and Living To Tell The Tale

2023 was not devastating for us, so please don’t get me wrong, I am grateful, but with that said, the year was 12 months of what I can only describe as emotional quicksand for me and the anxiety that lives rent-free in my head. The more I fought against it, the deeper I’d sink. With that said, we had some great days. But, there were days where it felt like I survived simply by making it to bedtime. Mom blogs refer to this as the mental load. It’s that never-ending to-do list that plays like a reel on repeat.

Allow me to give an example – The dentist. Checkups are way overdue. Let me make an appointment, times three, please? The oldest needs braces. Do they have cavities? They are bound to; heaven knows they don’t brush and floss as they should. While I’m sitting down to make appointments, Hubs needs medication refills. I’ll call and take care of those real quick. When was the last time he had a checkup?

The above list is circular with no beginning and seemingly no end either. During my bible study for this article I came across Romans 5:3-4. This gave me comfort . Embracing the struggle and surviving it helps us learn things we wouldn’t otherwise. This is necessary as it allows us to grow. “And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, and endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope” (HCSB).

How to Survive the Mental Load

Running a household is not for the faint of heart. As parents, we often feel like we must carry the mental load for the whole family.  Finances, educating the children, graduate school deadlines, remembering to go to the grocery store, trying to eat healthily and encourage the children to do the same, staying on top of everyone’s schedule, caregiving for elderly extended family members, and giving the dogs their monthly medication is a daily struggle and an entire year of it can leave one feeling exhausted. That is of course from the perspective of a stay at home mom. Parents who work outside of the home often survive work and still do all of the above-mentioned tasks and more. Speaking of draining events, everything else stops anytime someone in the house gets sick, thus creating holes in the carefully orchestrated daily routines. For instance, we all got RSV and COVID for Thanksgiving. I deep cleaned the house a few days before the holiday and we had some family members over.  The fevers spiked Wednesday morning. On Saturday our youngest became dehydrated and we went to the ER.

1 Peter 1:6-7 reminds us that Jesus is our living hope and that through Him and our faith we will not only survive our struggles but be able to come out on the other side better for it. “You rejoice in this, though now for a short time you have had to struggle in various trials so that the genuineness of your faith– more valuable than gold, which perishes though refined by fire– may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (HCSB).

Surviving the Unexpected

The hospital stay was stressful for all parties involved. I felt judged the entire time, which added an array of unwanted intrusive thoughts to that mental load I mentioned earlier. By the time he was on the upswing and discharged home, I was a frazzled, snotty, coughing, hot mess. Hubs had been home with our other two sick kids and missed a week of pay to boot. If you recall, earlier, I spoke about that carefully crafted daily routine… it’s fragile, like fresh from the cocoon butterfly wings. Because of my anxiety, these routines are paramount to my ability to function. So, once at home, I was greeted with a dirty kitchen and a pile of laundry to catch up. We hadn’t been to the grocery store in over a week and paid the bills late. I kept waiting to feel more up to decorating for Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday. We put up our inflatable tree and called it good. This is one of those opportunities though where you survive the experience with a grateful heart. We left with our boy on the mend and healthy.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 says, “We are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair, we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed” (HCSB).

End of Year Reflection on Surviving– Celebrate

You are probably thinking I’m whining or complaining. My point is that we all experience daily struggles and over time that can take a toll. Our emotions (whatever they may be) are valid and normal. These feelings are the attributes that make us human. We all get overwhelmed or overstimulated at times. Sometimes, we worry about the silliest things. Often, we take ourselves too seriously. As parents we multiply our expectations and worry. These things are felt daily, so I think it is easy to get bogged down when we get to the end of a year. Rather than feel pressure to make resolutions we aren’t likely to keep, I think we might fare better through reflection. Josh Miller at first 15 has a great article on finding your way back to thriving over just surviving.

Psalm 9: 9-10 says, “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know Your name trust in You because You have not abandoned those who seek You, Yahweh” (HCSB).

If You Only Survived Last Year – That’s Okay!

It is okay to put our burdens down. We don’t have to carry emotional baggage into the new year. Imagine yourself waist-deep in 2023 quicksand. We serve a God who is bigger than us. He is bigger than all the worry, anxiety, mental load, and negative experiences. He holds the tree branch. All we must do is reach out and grab hold. He pulled me safely into 2024, and He is there to do the same for you, my dears. As we begin this brand-new year, remind yourself that our children are our heavenly Father’s gifts. And He would not have entrusted them into our care if we weren’t more than capable of being their person. We survived last year! Yay us! Remember friends, you got this, and Happy  belated New Year!

Isaiah 43:2 says, “I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you” (HCSB).