Why I Hate Tom Brady: Reflections on the Super Bowl

Why I Hate Tom Brady: Reflections on the Super Bowl February 5, 2015
"Adoring hatred." Yeah. Please, Tom. Keep your helmet on. (Photo: Flickr, Jeffery Beall)
“Adoring hatred.” Yeah. Please, Tom. Keep your helmet on. (Photo: Flickr, Jeffery Beall)

As a Seattle Seahawks fan, born and raised in the Pacific Northwest, I hate Tom Brady.

With a passion.

Of course, my hatred for Tom has grown since Sunday’s Super Bowl. I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Tom and his Patriots beat my Seahawks in a heartbreaking loss, made worse by how the game ended. My Seahawks had the ball on the one (1!) yard line with seconds left and three downs remaining. Despite having the best running back in the NFL, whose nickname is “Beast Mode” because he’s the beastliest of all NFL players, the Seahawks decided to pass. A coaching decision that should be criminalized. Then came the interception that has had the whole Pacific Northwest in a state of mourning since Sunday night.

I hate Tom Brady.

But, personally, I don’t hate him because the Patriots won. I don’t hate him because of his brilliant dissection of the Seahawks defense in the fourth quarter. The Seahawks had the best defense in the NFL and Tom cut through it like a knife slicing through warm butter. Nor do I hate Tom because of the disastrous interception on the one yard line. The Seahawks were outcoached in those final seconds. The Patriots went into a defensive formation that confused the Seahawks and the Seahawks freaked out. I can respect that. So I don’t hate Tom and the Patriots for winning the Super Bowl.

I hate Tom Brady for one simple reason. About halfway through the game, the cameras showed Tom on the sideline. Standing there in his football pads and Patriots uniform, my wife said to me, “That is one attractive man.”

That is why I hate Tom Brady.

Isn’t it funny how hatred works! In his book Deceit, Desire, and the Novel, René Girard calls this “The adoring hatred” of admiration. It’s painful for me to admit this, but hatred and admiration are always linked. I hate Tom Brady because I admire him. Ugh. Yeah, I envy him. I would rather keep this a secret, but here’s the truth: As much as I hate Tom, I want to be him…I adore him. Ugh…

He has what I want! Sure, I hate him at least a little bit for beating the Seahawks. I claim to respect his fourth quarter comeback and the Patriot’s play calling in the final seconds, but I hate that they won and the Seahawks didn’t! Tom and the Patriots have what I want – another Super Bowl Championship and Seahawks fans everywhere are left to scrutinize what is being called “the worst play call in Super Bowl history.”

Not only does Tom have the Super Bowl rings, but he has women – specifically my wife! – throughout the country looking at him with lust. “That is one attractive man.”

Dammit Tom. Just stop. For the sake of men everywhere, please keep your helmet on…

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  • rob420bie

    Nothing like grasping for straws. Don’t worry he’ll probably only win 1 or 2 more SB’s. Then the rest of you losers can have the NFL back.