“Breeders” infected with “feeders”

UPDATE: Maxed Out Mama has coined a new term: Vaginahabi Jihad.

I am so jealous.

Maxed Out Mama can always be counted on to find the post you would be sorry to miss and this time she found it at Pedro the Quietist who reveals that the new affront to some leftists are….babies – or, as they are referred to, a parasitic blastocyst – an opportunistic, parasitic infection!

Appearance – It is tough, if not impossible, for a woman’s body
to be as tight and firm as it was prior to the pregnancy.

[Ed.(Pedro) – My choice for Constitutional Amendment #28: the State should preserve the woman’s right to have a hot, tight, and firm body forever.]

This is true of her abs, her butt, her breasts and her vagina. On top of that,
she may also have hair loss, acne, stretch marks, rashes, varicose veins, and a
scar from a c-section. Now I know that appearance shouldn’t matter, but it does.
We live in a society where appearance is important and a woman’s appearance is
permanently changed by being pregnant.

Death – According to the CDC, there are between 300 – 500 pregnancy-related deaths per year in the
US.

[Ed. (Pedro)- it’s an epidemic! Why are we so worried about H5N1 when there are plagues already among us!]

Read it to believe it. Pedro does a good job of mocking/fisking the bizarro rant, and Mama wonders if work, or stress or other inconveniences that affect your body and mind should be overthrown.

Me? My alarm bells began to ring when I read the part about babies stretching out and therefore damaging the tonality of the vagina. I know how serious these folks are about their vaginas! They write to me – often – discussing the integrity of the vagina and the superiority of the vagina over any and all other sexual musculature/organs. How can their vaginas sound their barbaric yawps if the elastic integrity of that gritty little number is compromised? What would that sound like, anyway? Yaaaaaawwwwwpppppfffpppfffpppffffpffffp?

Would it sound like an under-inflated innertube slapping the pavement? Pahflawp! Pahflawp!

I can understand how someone with a vagina formerly as taut and battle-ready as Xena, the Warrior Princess’ ab muscles would be tremendously put out if she delivered a child and suddenly found that her vagina – once the sounding bugle of the brigade, calling all members – suddenly sounded like the Big Surprise Cake in the old Little Rascals movie: Boomp! Mmwaaah! Boomp! Mmwaaah!

I’m at war with people who take their vaginas this seriously, whether male or female! (Yes, there are men who carry on about vaginas. I know a man who, after watching his wife deliver their firstborn said to the doctor, “maybe you could slip a few extra stitches in there, you know, tighten it up?” To this day, you can hear it on the video, and to this day his poor wife shoots him a look that should have had him singing castrato years ago.)

Sometimes I wish F. Scott Fitzgerald were alive today, because if he were, I am sure he would be blogging, and I think he would be vastly amused at both the left and the right – but I think he would take especial joy in eviscerating moonbeams who carry on about the looming threat of the disease of pregnancy. I think he would read that and write: “So they beat on, and on, waves against a stricken vessel – mentally masturbating as they look for the green light, convinced it stands for them, that it flashes a message only they understand: “you are even smarter than natural law…you are little gods and goddesses, aren’t ya? Aren’t ya?”

You’re all so smart, you can even become virgins all over again. Voila!. H/T Klaire.

Hmmmmm….and maybe, just maybe, the hymen – so long thought to be a useless, value-less part of the body – is worth hanging on to, and even has meaning?

UPDATE: Kobayashi Maru has an interesting take on “breeders” and their effect on the environment which is very interesting, and also informative. It makes sense that the air being CLEAN would allow more warming on the earth.