… The Gentleman Farmer has been so kind as to answer my lonely plea. It appears THIS MAN is still single… maybe if I put him in a Swiss Guard outfit. and squint. and drink heavily. Of course he’s from Orlando. *cough* Read more

… sending out 67 Christmas cards knowing you’ll be lucky to get three in return… and NO, email greetings will NOT suffice! Hiss. spit. growl. Read more

… dedicated to Fr. Edward Nemeth and my apparent altar ego, Elizabeth Westhoff. Read more

… 2:00 pm Wednesday afternoon arrived at the familia’s, chaos ensues. 2:05 pm begin drinking.5:00 pm more guests arrive, more drinking6:00 pm festivities in full swing, beer run7:00 pm take out chinese dinner8:00 pm card games, drinking games10:00 pm completely inebriated, let’s go grocery shopping!10:45 pm almost thrown out of Food Lion, MVP card surrender to store manager. BANNED!11:00 pm return home with enough banana pudding ingredients to feed an army12:15 am sleeping it off 8:30 am Thanksgiving morning, up... Read more

… hanging mistletoe and having no one to kiss. Mocking mistletoe. Read more

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… the mystery item was set on fire this time last year, the fire department was not called, and the mystery item was not a living animal or person. Can you guess what item The Crescat inadvertently set aflame? Read more

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… Dear Santa, As practical as socks and holiday sweaters are; please, for once just get me something I ask for. My very own Swiss Guard. Read more

… not being carded at the liquor store or no longer being asked to show your ID at the door of club. Read more