a thanksgiving recap…

… 2:00 pm Wednesday afternoon arrived at the familia’s, chaos ensues.

2:05 pm begin drinking.
5:00 pm more guests arrive, more drinking
6:00 pm festivities in full swing, beer run
7:00 pm take out chinese dinner
8:00 pm card games, drinking games
10:00 pm completely inebriated, let’s go grocery shopping!
10:45 pm almost thrown out of Food Lion, MVP card surrender to store manager. BANNED!
11:00 pm return home with enough banana pudding ingredients to feed an army
12:15 am sleeping it off

8:30 am Thanksgiving morning, up and dressed. My hair even hurts.
9:00 am start cooking
10:30 am decide I’ve been awake long enough, start drinking
12:00 pm the rest of the familia waits till noon to start drinking, pretending to be proper. I have no such qualms.
1:00 pm salsa and reggaeton music comes on, drunk kitchen dancing ensues.
1:30 pm phone calls to out of town family and friends, slurring on the phone.
2:30 pm lost my shoes
3:00 pm placing bets to see which idiot standing by the deep fryer propane tank smoking cigars blows up first.
4:15 pm everyone still alive, wives suspiciously disappointed.
4:30 pm first family fight over place settings, nothing is thrown
4:45 pm second fight about too many cooks in the kitchen, wooden spoon thrown
5:00 pm third fight about eating all the food before dinner is served, men banished from kitchen, children sent outside.
5:45 pm boys set fire to front porch and say it was a boy scout project
5:46 pm ring leader spanked mercilessly
6:00 pm DINNER!
6:01 pm giving thanks to God for our marvelous one of a kind family.