… to commemorate another year of multiple nominations in a new media award event where I don’t stand a snow ball’s chance in hell of winning, I would like to announce the annual… 2011 CANNONBALL CATHOLIC BLOG AWARDS™©! ta da.

It’s an annual tradition here on The Crescat, five years in the making, where I celebrate being completely under appreciated and snubbed in favor of that dude, what’s his name, Peters-something-or-another.

It’s a Blog Award for all us under appreciated types, and you are strictly forbidden from nominating anyone that has written a book… and that Peters guy. And fanciful cooking bird watching priests. And anybody else who has a blog better than me. So good luck with that.

Updated 9/2/11: Nominations are now closed!

The categories are:

Best Blog By A Religious

Standing On My Head

Orthometer

Reverend Know It All

Hell Burns

The Deacon’s Bench

Katholikos Diakonos

Whosoever Desires

Adam’s Ale

Dating God

Monks And Mermaids

Catholic Under The Hood

Msgr. Charles Pope

Best Political Blog

Adrienne’s Catholic Corner

Opinionated Catholic

Truth Forward

The American Catholic

More Catholic Than The Pope

Cleansing Fire

Black Sheepdog

Real Catholic TV

Eponymous Flower

Best Armchair Theologian

Cleansing Fire

Abbey Roads

Ask Sister Mary Martha

Dorian Speed

Quiet Dignity and Grace

Puffs Stuff

No Wealth But Life

Truth Forward

Accepting Abundance

Little Catholic Bubble

Pray Tell

Idle Speculations

Best Visual Treat

Orbis Catholicus Secondus

Betty Beguiles

Mary Mother Church

Spirit’s Sword

Enlarging The Heart

View From The Back Pew

Rome Of The West

Way Of Beauty

Sancte Pater

Corpus Immobilis Errantem Animum

Drawn To Catholicism

Gladuis Spiritus

Dust On The Shelves

Idle Speculations

Art & Design by Jim LePage

Most Church Militant

Cleansing Fire

Orthometer

V For Victory

Defend Us In Battle

Best New Kid on The Block

That Strangest of Wars

Catholic Drinkie

Secret Vatican Spy

Accepting Abundance

Marc Cardaronella

Barefoot And Pregnant

Heart For God

With Eager Feet

Steve Gershom

Coffee and Canticles

Reverend Know It All

Best Blog By A Heretic

Bridget Mary’s Blog

Ray Grosswirth

Bad Vestments

It Came From Allen’s Brain

Black Sheepdog

Pithless Thoughts

Dust On The Shelves

Faith in the 21st Century

Best Under Appreciated Blog

Fallen Sparrow

Heirs in Hope

These Stone Walls

Alive and Young

The Heresy Hunter

Korrektiv

Wynken Blynkn and Nod

Shoved To Them

Reverenced Reading

Kissing The Leper

No Wealth But Life

These Stone Walls

Darwin Catholic

Smaller Manhattans

View From The Back Pew

Barefoot And Pregnant

Our Word & Welcome To It

B-Movie Catechism

Perpetual Jubilee

Blessed Is The Kingdom

Catholic Laboratory

Magpie Collective

Best Spiritual Treat

Heirs in Hope

A Friar Minor

The Wine Dark Sea

Mary Mother Church

Joe Versus The Volcano

Betty Duffy

Defend Us In Battle

Adoro Te Devote

Finding Grace Within

Monks And Mermaids

Catholic By Grace

Blessed Is The Kingdom

Best Bat Shit Crazy

Orthometer

I Have To Sit Down

B-Movie Catechism

Digital Hairshirt

Redneck Reflections

Best Potpourri of Popery

Happy Catholic

The Curt Jester

The Hell With It

Darwin Catholic

Shirt Of Flame

Shoved To Them

Ten Thousand Places

Charlotte Was Both

Snarkiest Catholic Blog

Abbey Roads

Patrick Vandapool

The Recovering Dissident Catholic

Saint Kitsch

The Hell With It

Acts of The Apostasy

Lisa Graas

Most Hifreakinlarious

Acts Of The Apostasy

Patrick Vandapool

Belinda’s Brain

Ironic Catholic

Bad Catholic

Redneck Reflections

House Unseen. Life Unscripted.

Best Blog That Needs to be Updated More Often

St. Monica’s Kneelers

Catholic Beer Review

Catholic Culture and Society

Alive and Young

Recovering Dissident Catholic

Catholic Drinkie

Our Lady’s Tears

St. Anthony’s Walnut Tree

Deny The Cat

*Rules, disclaimers, fine print and legalese: When making nominations please indicate category, blog name and include blog link. If you don’t, I will not mark the nomination. Please do not email me nominations. Leave them in the comment box. In the past, I have excepted email nominations but it got too damn confusing. Also, try to avoid duplicate nominations. If you see some one already made the nomination you intended; spare us.

If you were nominated but wish to disassociate yourself as far away from me as possible, email me at the_crescat@yahoo.com. I will understand perfectly.

Nominees and winners of the 2011 Catholic Cannonball Awards™© receive no prizes, just the sweet sweet satisfaction that they were only slightly better than no one else really all that special. They reserve bragging rights and the distinction of being fantastical ordinary! Yay! You’re an awesome average blogger. Enjoy your victory.

Voting will begin in a special poll on September 17, 2011. Remember, do NOT leave your votes in this comment box.

… did you know all it takes to be a self proclaimed expert is a blog? Blogger will magically bestow these credentials upon you. Seriously. I got my fancifully engraved diploma right beside me… Doctorate in Catholic Stuff with a minor in Shitty Art. It’s totally legit.

Don’t believe me. There are all manor of experts blogging just search for yourself… marriage experts who are “experts” simply because they managed to make it down the aisle, child “psychologists” specializing in child rearing just because they have a kid or two, people giving medical advice because they once dated a doctor or worked as a receptionist in a chiropractor’s office, or simply Catholic “theologians” who write Catholic blogs because they converted and that makes them an expert in their field.

There’s no doubt some of these individuals are intelligent and well read but that does not mean they are in any position to be giving advice. And we are certainly not obligated to take their advice. In fact, I would strongly suggest you question it at every turn. My fantastic readers are always quick to bring it to my attention when I err, which is often. Good. It keeps me humble. If you don’t agree with me, marvelous! As the saying by Jane Austen goes “I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.”

Never ask for advice you aren’t prepared to hear. And if you do, always always consider the source. If you have a genuine concern; be it regarding your health, faith or love life, take it to legitimate sources. Seek the appropriate and professional counsel of someone who knows what the hell they are talking about. I guarantee you it won’t be found here on Blogger.

With that, I will now solemnly proclaim myself an expert in fire arms, divorce, food poisoning, liquor mixology, Catholic Kitsch and Queen of the Un-Finished Novena!

… How can you top this? I think this is what happens when Pentecostals take acid.

source.

… Eucharistic Congress, Sept 10 & 11. Also, the Catholic Company is having a warehouse sale this weekend with benefits going to the Misionaries of the Poor. Time for me to load up on yard statues and my much loved kitsch.

… I got new neighbors and, judging by the kitsch in their yard, they’re Catholic. Let the competition to be crowned the Tackiest Neighbor begin. At least this gives me an excuse to break out the Christmas lights a few months early. Oh, this is going to be so much fun.

… for the understanding and sympathetic words regarding my travel predicament. Please continue to pray for me. I might still be able to go in the first part of May… provided.

Please let this piece of shitty art express my humble gratitude. Ok, I can admit it, I am with Mr. Korger in kind of liking this. It has a certain earnest kitschy charm.

image source.

… here are the top ten tackiest representations of your birth…

Only in Florida with 52 votes Submitted by: The Young Catholic

Human Hair with 39 votes submitted by: Eric
http://d.yimg.com/static.video.yahoo.com/yep/YV_YEP.swf?ver=2.2.46

My personal fav; Cthulhu Nativity with 39 votes Submitted by: Mike

LSD Frogs with 28 votes Submitted by: Kathryn

The Birth of Cheeses of Nazareth with 18 Submitted by: Eric

Simpson’s Nativity with 14 votes Submitted by: The Young Catholic

Recycled Trash with 12 votes Submitted by: Jackie

Bottle Cap Nativity with 10 votes Submitted by: Lola

Balloon Nativity with 10 Submitted by: Eric

Fr. Erik’s favorite; the Bull Dogs with 10 Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

… Started by St. Francis in 1223, the nativity scene has become an endearing symbol commemorating the birth of Christ. Such a beautiful sentiment… some how I don’t suppose St. Francis ever fathomed his idea would be morphed into some gloriously awful kitsch and that I would hold a contest to crown the tackiest.

Voting has been divided in three parts based on it’s sheer volume. The top ten tacky nativities will be featured when voting is closed December 24th. Vote now and may the crappiest kitsch win!

http://d.yimg.com/static.video.yahoo.com/yep/YV_YEP.swf?ver=2.2.46
Human Hair Nativity Scene #1 Creepy Human Hair submitted by: Eric

# 2 Rubber Duckie submitted by: The Crescat

# 3 Bullwinkle the Flying Moose submitted by: Fr. Daren Zehnle

# 4 Mother Goose submitted by: Catholic Eye Candy

# 5 Eskimo Pie Submitted by: Catholic Eye Candy

# 6 Up on the Roof Top Submitted by: Catholic Eye Candy

# 7 Tacky Cut Out Submitted by: Ellyn

# 8 Bears and Shit Submitted by: Robert

# 9 Stars Wars Submitted by: Sooner Scotty

# 10 Kitsch Modern Submitted by: Mike in CT

# 11 Jenga Block Nativity Submitted by: Mike in CT

# 12 S’mores Nativity Submitted by: Mike in CT

# 13 Fing er Puppet Nativity Submitted by: Betty-Ann

# 14 In the Tree Top Nativity Submitted by: Betty-Ann

# 15 Bearstein Bear Nativity Submitted by: Betty-Ann

# 16 Weenie Dog Nativity Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 17 Christmas at the Pound Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 18 Bull Dog Nativity Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

#19 LSD Frog Nightmare Nativity Submitted by: Kathryn

# 20 Twist Tie Nativity Submitted by: Jaya

# 21 Mirror Nativity Submitted by: Jaya

# 22 Shitty Fiber Optic Star Nativity Submitted by: Jaya

# 23 Yard Snow Globe Nativity Submitted by: Jaya

# 24 White Wash Nativity Submitted by: Mike

# 25 Junk Yard Auto Part Nativity Submitted by: Mike

# 26 Recycled Trash Nativity Submitted by: Jackie

# 27 Lego Nativity Submitted by: Jackie

# 28 Creep Cat Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 29 Bar Soap Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 30 Depressed House Pets Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 31 Ginger Bread Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 32 Balloon Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 33 Veggie Tales Nativity Submitted by: Dixie

# 34 Jars of Clay Nativity Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 35 IKEA Nativity Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 36 A Charlie Brown Christmas Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 37 Stonehenge Nativity Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 38 Precious Moments Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 39 Country Kitsch Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 40 Inflatable Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 41 Fisher Price Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 42 Ye Haw – Lelujah Nativty Submitted by: Eric

# 43 Santa Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 44 Dome Arigato Mr. Roboto Submitted by: Eric

# 45 Play-doh Nativity Submitted by: Familias Catolicas

# 46 Mute Holy Family Nativity Submitted by: Familias Catolicas

# 47 Ugly Baby Nativity Submitted by: Familias Catolicas

# 48 Feliz Navidad Nativity Submitted by: Familias Catolicas

# 49 Cthulhu Nativity Submitted by: Mike

# 50 Plastic Yard Kitsch Submitted by: Paulinus

# 51 Canine Nativity Submitted by: Paulinus

# 52 Roger Rabbit Nativity Submitted by: Allen’s Brain

# 53 Something’s Missing Nativity Submitted by: Allen’s Brain

# 54 Oyster Shell Nativity Submitted by: Tim

# 55 This Lil Piggy Went to Bethlehem Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 56 Raccoon Nativity Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 57 Basset Nativity Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 58 Commercial Kitsch Nativity Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 59 Flying Bears Nativity Submitted by: Tina aka Snupjake

# 60 Fuzz Ball Nativity Submitted by: Melissa

# 61 Coconut Shell Nativity Submitted by: Melissa

# 62 Carved by a Toddler Nativity Submitted by: Melissa

# 63 U.F. Ho Ho Ho Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 64 Cheese Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 65 I’m Not Fat, It’s a Gland Problem Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 66 Sock Monkey Nativity Submitted by: Eric

# 67 Bees Wax Nativity Submitted by: Paul Cat

# 68 Magpie Nativity Submitted by: Zanshin [copyright]

# 69 Palin’s Nativity Submitted by: The Young Catholic

# 70 Simpson Nativity Submitted by: The Young Catholic

# 71 Florida Retirement Center Nativity Submitted by: The Young Catholic

# 72 Wax Museum Nativity Submitted by: Robert

# 73 Bottle Cap Nativity Submitted by: Lola

# 74 Why I Hate Thomas Kincaid Nativity Submitted by: Jane