More and more, I believe the best question I could ask someone that is deconstructing is, “Are you learning to trust yourself?” The people that seem to be evolving and thriving out here in the desert for the people that have made a concerted effort to go inside, and now are learning to trust themselves. One of the most unproductive things, is to argue and debate over interpretations of scripture. Scripture. Ancient man-made documents serve some purpose, but we need... Read more
I remember when I played in my first high school football game. It was so terrifying, then exhilarating, then addictive. Other than girls, it was all I cared about for several years. I remember my first job in Dallas / Ft. Worth. I felt small among the buildings and all the people. Work quickly became an addiction, where I struggled and succeeded. I remember becoming a father and being totally paralyzed by fear. We didn’t have a choice, we... Read more
In the hero’s journey, one of the necessary steps is “crossing the threshold.” It is where the hero fully commits to the journey and steps away from normal life to see what they’ve never seen before. Religious systems confine us. Most of our effort goes to maintaining those systems. It’s very hard to discover a better way that helps us evolve while we are static and defending where we are now. When I started my first career, I didn’t know... Read more
You don’t have to stay In a religion that sways. You don’t have to believe What someone else has conceived. You don’t have to feel shame Because of their misplaced blame. You don’t have to fear What they imagined was there. You don’t have to look At their sacred or holy book. You don’t have to concede To bow and / or bend your knee. You don’t have to agree With their ancient, man-made creed. You don’t have to make... Read more
Occasionally I will accidentally catch a preacher on Instagram or TikTok talking about avoiding following the patterns of the “world.” I know from experience, as a former pastor, that I could use this teaching to plug in about anything I wanted to rail against. What preachers usually fail to understand is that most religions are modeled after the pattern of the world. Most Christian rituals come from pagan rituals and once they are larger than 50 people or so, most... Read more
As many have said before, out here in the desert, it’s easy to get classified as “too much” for one group and “not enough” for another. We are often asked about confining questions such as “what are you?” or “what do you believe?” Because typical people of faith have an idea of what would happen if you change your beliefs, they sometimes misinterpret or project onto others what they fear in their own imaginations. If you believe that someone will... Read more
Before I even get started, I know even the title might be a trigger for some people. So let me just give a couple of disclaimers. First of all, I realize that there has been some good from Christianity. There has been a certain amount of community action and relief provided by Christian groups. Most everyone, even those that have been traumatized, admit that the church was, at one point, a help to them. Second, my motivation is not destructive.... Read more
Whether or not you are directly involved with your religion, it’s time to make an honest evaluation or organized religion in the 21at Century. In our book, Out into the Desert: Thriving Outside Organized Religion, we ask these questions and more: – Is Christianity sometimes more like a multi-level marketing group than a sanctuary? – Are we in fact addicted to organize religion? – What do we really get for the money we give to religion? – How effective is... Read more
Because my dad wasn’t really present with me growing up, I learned to work hard like him but received little guidance from him except the focus on doing. It left me with a bit of a void. He didn’t know what to tell me and I probably wouldn’t have listened to him anyway. I took matters into my own hand and got enough education to land a job and figure out what it took to be somewhat successful. Because I... Read more
Over the past few months, I have experienced some lapses in communication with people. It’s possible that a few of them, as some of my mentors suggest, could be cleared up quickly with a simple phone call. But, for whatever reason, the times we live in seem to go against that. These lapses in communication leave me feeling misunderstood, not cared for, and often retributive toward the other person. I don’t want to throw shade on the people involved in... Read more
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