Recently I listened to a discussion about a book I’m involved with called Parenting Deconstructed. It’s a great book for people that are making changes in their spiritual life and exploring different options, commonly known as deconstruction. A couple of the authors that I love talked about making space for their children. What they meant is that when they addressed their inner issues that were taking up all their attention, then they had space to spend time with their children... Read more
by Jason Elam The day we had been dreading had finally arrived. Our oldest child, Alex, was moving out on her own. I had always expected to be relieved to see our kids spread their wings and fly away from the nest. After all, raising healthy, well-adjusted kids who can thrive on their own is nearly every parent’s goal, right? Recently though, as my faith continued to evolve, I realized we had not done a good job of representing spiritual... Read more
A few days ago, someone said “I will pray for you, Karl.” They weren’t saying it because they were concerned for me, they were saying it because they disagreed with me and they wanted me to come back into their “fold.” It’s a way of gas lighting and bypassing because it means “You are obviously wrong and only God could save you.” Since I see prayer a little differently these days, and I don’t like to use it in manipulative... Read more
The band R.E.M. had a song called “Losing My Religion” In the early ’90s. The phrase refers to losing our temper and doing things that would cause us to no longer be accepted by traditional churches. The idea is that I’m going to get so mad at you that I do things that up till now I kept under control. But that’s not what we’re talking about in the modern discussion of losing our religion. We’re not talking about making... Read more
I know the metaphor doesn’t make much sense, but I wanted to get your attention and ask for your help. Recently, our new book, Out Into the Desert reached best seller status. Help us ride the wave by sharing this amazing news with people you know. Good News! The Kindle version is 99 cents for a limited time! Description of the book: Sometimes when we begin to question our faith or have doubts about our tradition, it can feel like... Read more
Last night, Laura and I recorded a podcast where we were reviewing one of my blogs about simple spirituality. One of the statements I made in that blog was “maybe instead of listening to sermons we should have been listening to each other. ” Early on in my deconstruction, I heard a person named Sarah Styles Bessey say, “the church didn’t have room for my grief.” It deeply impacted our deconstruction. We wanted to talk to her about this on... Read more
Photo by Element5I live in a county that is 75/25 one way. For issues like state representatives, local officials and representatives of our district, if you’re on the “wrong” side, it’s hard to “win.” I guess it could be a little discouraging even on the “right” side. I mean,.does my vote matter? Laura and I were the first to vote today, number one and number two. So for about 5 minutes at least, everything in Atchison County, MO was going... Read more
Very much of how we navigate this life could be attributed to the culture of our homeland, the religion of our parents, and the friends we hang out with. If we were born in a different place, we might be exposed to different religious influences, and had different friends, we would most likely believe and act differently. A podcast I listened to yesterday described it as “the water we swim in.” These influences are accepted by us unconsciously. Some of... Read more
Even though I tend to avoid creeds and belief statements and organized religion these days, the questions still come up all the time. Such as: – What do we do now? – What are your practices? – How do we proceed? Maybe a better question is “What does spirituality look like as we evolve towards a better future?” This is what I think. 1. Go inside and be at peace trust yourself Religion taught not to trust what we feel... Read more
Photo by Admiral General For about 20 years, Laura and I were in ministry as a pastor and church planter. I was pretty good at taking over struggling churches and revitalizing/replanting them and making them viable. One of the main things I would do is blend into the community and then introduce them to some fresh approaches. At the last church, we renamed the church because it was a legacy Church. I installed an overhead projector, developed a praise and... Read more
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