When we begin to question our beliefs or go through deconstruction, eventually we realize we have evolved past what we once accepted. I remember thinking, “that seems silly to me now,” and then I felt guilty for feeling that. Once we change a few beliefs and begin questioning practices, we can quickly feel alienated. Laura and I describe that it feels like we are wandering “out into the desert.” Because religions also employ complicated systems of fear and control, their... Read more
(Adapted from my blog on Patheos) Before we even get started, let me just say this. I know that many of you might have had good experiences with your church. It’s better than a fundamentalist, evangelical church that you know of and you are more accepting, affirming and generally more progressive. I get that–there is a church like that across the street. If it didn’t trigger us because of our trauma, we would probably attend there. I hope Pastor Donna... Read more
While It’s true that many millions of people are deconstructing their faith, some of them will be convinced to stop short of total deconstruction. I don’t want to judge or criticize them for this. Deconstruction is hard. But for many of us, it was necessary to continue on the journey that we started. I had to deconstruct not only some of my beliefs, but my entire belief system which included the religion and everything associated with it. Today, it... Read more
Many people in deconstruction circles warn of deconstructing too far. Just like reliion, they are not sure exactly what they’re afraid of, but to go further than where they went seems dangerous to them. They assume, if we go too far we will have “nothing left.” To make a long story short, I have gone further than many in my deconstruction and I have many friends that have done the same and all I can do is take an inventory... Read more
When I was seven, the things I understood were very limited. I knew how to read, I knew a few songs from kindergarten and my school was integrating, so I was learning that there were different people in the world. This was about the same time a preacher told me I was a sinner and so I got “saved.” Over the years, I learned about all kinds of things. When we lived in a different neighborhood, I learned that the... Read more
Over the years religion, and especially Western religion, has proven not only to be ineffective, but also harmful. Many within religion have manufactured a fear that leaving religion will lead to something worse. It’s only in their mind, but that is the story and they’re sticking to. As I said a few days ago, the initial stages of deconstruction are extremely difficult, but once we progress a little further down the road he gets much better, in my opinion.... Read more
If you listen to me very often, you might assume that I don’t think there’s anything salvageable about religion, especially Western religion and most definitely Evangelicalism. But is there anything from all of this that we can salvage as we evolve and endeavor to move on? The answer is yes. The pockets of religion that I would salvage, if it was up to me, are what I would call contemplative practices and those that know their efficacy well. Things like... Read more
I think it’s important to be honest and talk about what religion actually does for us. I discovered this through some deep introspection when I took a few minutes and looked around me while I was sitting in the worship service. What was I really getting from this? 1. It alters our mood. It makes us feel better. There’s nothing wrong with feeling better, and in fact that’s what most of us want. But also, most of us would admit... Read more
After beginning deconstruction, I harbored out at a larger church for a while. Laura was done with organized religion, but I still thought I could help change it from the inside. When I realized they didn’t really want me to do anything pastoral there, it gave me the courage to stop going. And that is where I discovered the following about organized religion. 1. Religion creates an addiction. Anything that alters our mood can create an addiction. It feels good... Read more
In recent years, many have discovered that human beings seem to be designed with a deep need for connection. It is the same as what we observe in nature. Even at the sub-atomic level, everything seems to have this deep need to connect and interact with other things. When we talk about connection and community, religious people automatically assume that the church is the best place to find this community and connection. But is it really? In most churches, the... Read more
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