| Cathleen Falsani

Getting religion at work — a guide

Seven spiritually edifying things you can do while simultaneously eating a frozen Lean Cuisine, surfing the Internet, and ignoring the blaring cell phone for a few minutes — all without leaving the comfort of your work station:

1) Go to church.

No, really. Last week, the Methodist Church of Great Britain launched an online sanctuary called Church of Fools. It’s an offshoot of the online Christian humor magazine Ship of Fools.

At the Web site http://shipof fools.com/church/, the faithful, the skeptical and the merely curious can log on and enter a three-dimensional cyber church — complete with stained-glass windows, an altar and a crypt. Visitors appear as cartoon characters, called “avatars,” are able to sit in pews, kneel in prayer, talk to other worshippers, and even hear a real-time sermon.

On May 11, the day Church of Fools opened its doors, the Rt. Rev. Richard Chartres, the Anglican bishop of London, delivered the inaugural sermon, beginning with Jesus’ words to his disciple Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down the nets for a catch.”

“Put out into the deep,” Chartres told his cyber parishioners. “It is the command of Jesus Christ that we set out into the cyber ocean aware that the Spirit of God is already brooding over the face of the deep.

“Let us use this gift which has been given to our generation to heal and not to hurt; to open spiritual ears and eyes and not to add to the noise of self-justification and the rhetoric of hate.”

Like all new congregations, Church of Fools is still working out a few bugs. On the first day, more than 60,000 bogged down the Web site, which has averaged 7,000 visitors a day ever since.

And then there were a few disruptive parishioners — including one who called himself “Satan” — who shouted swears (in the form of text messages) during the service, prompting church Web masters to withdraw the option to “shout.” They have since added church “wardens” with the ability to “smite” the unrighteous by booting them off the Web site.

The next live sermon can be heard at 3 p.m., Chicago time, Sunday.

2) Pray.

There are numerous Web sites — of various religious traditions and none — where people can submit prayer requests, pray alone or pray with others. Googling the words “online prayer” yields 26,000 hits. Pick one.

By clicking on the link that says “place a prayer on the wall” at www.aish.com/wallcam/, visitors can send a prayer request to the Western Wall in Jerusalem. It’s free, although they do say there is “great merit” in making a donation.

Jesuit priests in Ireland post a series of guided prayers on their Web site, www.jesuit.ie/prayer/.

“It might seem strange to pray at your computer, in front of a screen, especially if there are other people around you, or distracting noises,” the Irish Jesuits write. “But God is everywhere, all around us, constantly reaching out to us, even in the most unlikely situations.”

You can pray the rosary — complete with an instrumental version of “Ave Maria” playing in the background — at the Web site http://rosary.virtualave.net/. In case you’re a little rusty on how many “Hail Marys” come before the “Glorious Mysteries,” the Virtual Ave site helps pray-ers to follow along by highlighting the words in red, like that old follow-the-bouncing-ball dot.

At the Online Daily Office Web site www.missionstclare.com, you can say morning and evening prayers, read the assigned Scripture passage for the day, and even light a candle. All right, it’s a cyber candle. Still, a nice touch.

3) Meditate.

The folks at Beliefnet.com, one of the most thoughtful and entertaining spirituality destinations on the Internet, offer 30 different kinds of meditations through their Web site. They include meditations from the Kabbalah, Sufi Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Earth-based spirituality, New Age and a variety of Christian traditions.

Some of the online meditations are written, others are interactive and guided, with music and moving images. One of my favorites is called “A Moment of Calm,” a 10-minute narrated meditation, with gorgeous sepia-toned images of Buddhas and monasteries. If done correctly (read: without answering the phone or checking my e-mail in the middle of it), it’s almost as soothing as an aromatherapy massage.

4) Relax.

Do a little chair yoga.

Ellen Serber, a yoga and tai chi instructor from Point Reyes, Calif., shows you how at www.mydaily yoga.com. There’s even a black-and-white animated version of Serber to lead you through 14 simple exercises to do in your ergonomically incorrect office chair.

5) Think big thoughts.

Read something inspiring, challenging or comforting.

The “My Inspiration” section of www.faith.com has Scripture readings, words of wisdom, questions about faith and spiritual journal entries written by real folks across the country, and from varied spiritual traditions including Native American, Taoism, Sikhism and Gnosticism, along with all the usual suspects.

At SermonCentral.com, anyone can read more than 60,000 sermons from preachers, pastors and scholars around the world. And its sister site, BibleMaster.com, offers Scripture references and Bible studies on 935 different subjects from marriage and sexuality to forgiveness and workplace ethics.

6) Help others.

Instead of searching through the sale racks at KennethCole.com or placing eBay bids on the first edition of Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret, or a Flying Nun thermos in mint condition, take a few minutes to visit the Web site for Heifer International.

Working from the “give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach him how to fish and he’ll eat forever” approach to social justice, for 60 years Heifer has provided food- and income-producing animals and training to millions of struggling people in the developing world.

Through its Web site, www.heifer.org, you can buy a llama for $150 (or a portion of a llama for $20) that will give a family in Peru or Bolivia a means of transportation and income; $30 will keep an Indian family in honey, beeswax and pollen, sustaining generations; $20 will buy chicks that will yield 200 eggs a year for a mother in Zimbabwe, and $10 will buy a share of a goat for a Dominican Republic couple.

Everyone can use a little retail therapy from time to time. And this online purchase won’t go out of style next season or sit on a shelf collecting dust.

7) Nothing.

Don’t answer the phone.

Ignore the e-mail alerts.

Enjoy your lunch, even if it is just a humble Lean Cuisine.

Be quiet for few minutes.

And just breathe.