What they said about God in ’04

Lots of folks had lots to say about religion, spirituality, morality and God in 2004.

Here (in no particular order) are some of the best — or at least some of the most intriguing — spiritual thoughts I’ve heard this year:

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“Having to prove you’re Christian is like having to prove you’re not a pedophile.”

Mancow Muller

“You can get there by aeroplane, across the water, whatever — get there. Get to love and forgiveness. Forgive yourself, love yourself. Forgive others. Love them.”

Iyanla Vanzant

“I’m doing whatever I can that I think would not horrify Jesus.”

Anne Lamott

“I think there is an enormous danger on the part of public figures to rationalize or justify their actions by claiming God’s mandate. I don’t think it’s healthy for public figures to wear religion on their sleeve as a means to insulate themselves from criticism, or dialogue with people who disagree with them.”

Barack Obama

“I don’t know anyone less Jesus-like than most Christians.”

Bill Maher

“It was the kind words of one religious chaplain that gave me space, and that kept me from being like a complete atheist.”

Melissa Etheridge

“My understanding of my relationship with God includes an invitation to be involved in what goes on in the world and to try to offer positive input wherever possible.”

Bruce Cockburn

“Uday laid down his life for no particular caste or community, but for what he felt was right. He is God’s soldier and belongs only to him.”

Preet Mahinder Singh at the memorial service for his son, U.S. Army Sgt. Uday Singh, 21, of Palatine, Ill., a Sikh and the first American soldier of Indian descent to die in the war in Iraq

“I don’t believe in separating the sacred from the secular. I think that breeds schizophrenic behavior.”

“Bart Simpson” comic book writer and pastor Chris Yambar

“For some reason, I’m better if I’m in a church. I don’t know why.”

Jack Ryan (pre-sex scandal)

“[The Dalai Lama] says, ‘If you have compassion, if you have kindness, basic human kindness, then maybe you’re on the right track.’ . . . So you can ask yourself, ‘Is this kind? Am I being kind? What am I being here?'”

Annie Lennox

“If you think you’ve got problems or something hurtful has happened, take a walk in the woods and think about how lucky you are just to be alive.”

Hugh Hefner

“A lot of people think because you’re a Christian, you’re not going to be a hard-nosed player. That’s not what the Lord wants, to me. You can be a Christian and be hard-nosed. Like Reggie White and a whole bunch of dudes that will kick your butt, and help you up.”

Chicago Cubs manager Dusty Baker

“I really think that if we all look within ourselves and change who we are and started there, the world would be a peaceful place.”

Shoe designer John Fluevog

“You know, the only thing we could save people with was lies. Thank God.”

Agnes Adachi, 86, an aide to Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg, who is credited with saving more than 100,000 Hungarian Jews during World War II

“Unfortunately, you know, Christians shoot their own.”

Lee Strobel, host of the TV show “Faith Under Fire”

Joel: “I don’t see anything I don’t like about you.”

Clementine: “But you will! But you will, and I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that’s what happens with me.”

Joel: “OK.”

“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”

“My Kabbalah teacher, one of them, used to say to me, ‘When in doubt, act like God.’ . . . God would be compassionate. Unconditional. All-giving. All-loving. So, when in doubt, behave that way. You’ll never go wrong.”

Madonna in an ABC News interview

“The question is not, why is this human condition so bad? But what are you doing about it? Just to observe it and lament the bad outcome, I just don’t think that’s enough. . . . God’s work has to be our own.”

U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin

“I just bow my head during the opening music and say, ‘Your words, not mine. Your show, not mine. Help.'”

Neil Saavedra, host of “The Jesus Christ Show” on L.A. radio station KFI, on how he gets into character

“When you take off your shoes, thank them. Your shoes protected your feet all day, never complaining. . . . Gratitude for such little things shows how intimate relationships are possible through mindful awareness.”

The Rev. Koyo Kubose, a Buddhist priest, in his book Bright Dawn

“Some days, content’s as good as it gets and that’s OK. In fact, some days, that’s pretty good.”

Pamela Gail Johnson, president of the Secret Society of Happy People

“Get Jesus up off the mantelpiece and let him run around the yard! . . . Get in tune with your scoutmaster so you don’t go walking through the poison sumac and end up blaming him for it.”

Chris Yambar, Christian comic-book writer

“A realistic spiritual discipline says, ‘What is your baby step? And what are you willing to do?’ ”

Theologian Tom Beaudoin

“All I have to say is, nobody ever told me to keep secret the fact that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene.”

Cardinal Francis George on The DaVinci Code and conspiracy theories

“Eat all you want in heaven and never get fat!”

Weekly World News headline

“There’s nothing that can separate us from God’s love, and there’s nothing that is so awful and heinous and barbaric and evil that would have Jesus just go, ‘Oh, forget it,’ and stomp off.”

Anne Lamott

“You can run from love, and if it’s really love, it will find you, catch you by the heel.”

U2

“Mwelp, the Dude abides.”

Jeff Lebowski in “The Big Lebowski” (umpteenth viewing)

Best wishes for a spiritually insightful 2005.