GODSTUFF:

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?

How would Jesus sound?

Would he sound like an American? Would he have a southern accent? A British accent? Would he sound forceful and strong, or quiet and meek? Would he sound like a white guy or a black man? Arab? Hispanic? African? None of the above?
What does Jesus sound like in our heads when we read the words on the page?

In the provocative new project, “The Bible Experience,” Jesus sounds like actor Blair Underwood.

“The Bible Experience” is an audio recording of the entire Bible — Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament — read by more than 80 well-known African-American actors, musicians, performers and pastors.

The complete New Testament was released on CDs late last month, and the audio recording of the entire Bible is expected to be released next autumn.

It’s a remarkable endeavor from the publishing house Zondervan and the Inspired By Media Group that brought together a diverse group of performers to give voice to biblical characters and stories in a thoroughly captivating recording that returns the Bible to its spoken-word roots.

The casting is surprising and, as one of the cast members told me, so perfect it could only have been divinely inspired.

Underwood is Jesus. Samuel L. Jackson lends his familiar voice to the character of God Almighty.

Cuba Gooding Jr. is Judas Iscariot, and Angela Bassett is Queen Esther, while Denzel Washington and his wife, Pauletta, voice the characters in the Song of Solomon.

The best-selling author, TV personality and self-described “spiritual life coach” Iyanla Vanzant lent her voice to the character of Wisdom in the Book of Proverbs, an elder in the Book of Revelation, and she also read Psalm 146.

“The day I was in the studio, Blair Underwood was reading the Lord’s Prayer,” Vanzant was telling me earlier this week. “I literally felt the molecules in the room stop moving. Everything stopped moving. It was the most unbelievable thing I’d ever seen. . . . I knew it was something I had to be a part of.”

When I popped in the first “Bible Experience” CD last week and heard Underwood’s Jesus, just a few days after I’d watched Underwood portray a violent abuser in the movie “Madea’s Family Reunion,” I was taken aback and then won over. His voice is tender and strong, full of emotion and grace.

“He’s perfect,” Vanzant said. “Denzel Washington and Pauletta reading [Song of] Solomon are absolutely perfect. . . . Cuba Gooding as Judas is perfect, even though I probably would have thought of Chris Rock first,” she added, laughing.

Funny, I would have cast Rock, who played “Rufus” (the supposed 13th disciple) in Kevin Smith’s film “Dogma” a few years back, as an Old Testament prophet. Jeremiah, perhaps, infused with Rock’s trademark fire and spleen.

“The Bible Experience” got me thinking about how I would choose the voices for the Bible if given the chance. Who would I want to hear read the stories I’ve heard so many times before in church, school and the movies?

The whole idea of casting voices rather than faces and body types is an intriguing enterprise. Voices work in the realm of the imagination, in the theater of the mind.

Here are a few of my picks:

Brad Pitt and Sandra Bullock as Adam and Eve. Because their voices sound ageless and timeless to me. Not old and not young, not rich and not poor. Everyvoices.

The Serpent in the Garden of Eden? Snoop Dogg. No question. His voice is part velvety cool, part skin-crawl creepy. Seductive and scary at once. If Snoop was busy, Jack Nicholson would make an excellent understudy.

Tom Waits as Abraham. Kathleen Turner as Sarah.
George Clooney as King David.

Shaquille O’Neal as Samson. Jennifer Tilly as Delilah.
And the marvelous Lewis Black as the author of Ecclesiastes, bemoaning the state of human existence and mulling the meaning of life.

Ben Kingsley as King Solomon. Kate Winslet as Queen Esther. Sandra Bernhard as Deborah, the judge.

Moses, leading the Israelites out of Egypt and into the desert? Jon Stewart.

As for some of the prophets? Neil Young as Ezekiel, Bono as Amos, Anthony Hopkins as Isaiah.

And Steven Colbert reading . . . Leviticus. (Biblical literacy being what it is — a 1997 Barna poll showed that 12 percent of Christians believe Noah’s wife was Joan of Arc — please note that Leviticus is not, in fact, a dude.)

Moving on to the New Testament:
Christopher Walken, with his quintessentially menacing voice, as King Herod.
John Malkovich as Pilate.

Patrick “Dr. McDreamy” Dempsey as St. Luke the physician. Kanye West as St. Matthew the evangelist. Bill Maher as St. Matthew, the former tax collector. And Rufus Wainwright as St. John the Beloved.

Angelina Jolie as Mary to Matthew McConaughey’s Joseph.
Owen Wilson as John the Baptist, and Liv Tyler as Salome.
Lorraine Bracco as Mary Magdalene and Blythe Danner as Elizabeth.

Alessandro Nivola as Judas. Wallace Shawn as Zaccheus, that “wee little man” in the sycamore tree, as the children’s song goes.

And Dr. Phil as St. Paul. Can’t you just hear him improvising a “How’s that workin’ out for ya?” at the end of one of the apostle’s letters instructing the faithful on right living?

As for the leading roles, while Underwood is marvelous as the voice of Jesus, when I read Scripture, the closest earthly voice I conjure for the Christ is Denzel Washington. The merciful warmth and coiled intensity that Washington naturally exudes is what I hear in my mind.

The Hebrew word for the Holy Spirit — ruach — is feminine. So I like to think of its voice as that of a woman. Macy Gray’s gravelly otherworldliness would be spot on.

When it comes to casting the voice of God, Vanzant said her first thoughts were James Earl “This is CNN” Jones or the late, great Barry White.

My choice for God’s voice? I’ll defer to Junie Lowry-Johnson and Ron Surma, the folks who cast the film “Bruce Almighty.” To my ear, Morgan Freeman is the voice of The Alpha and Omega.

As I listened to “The Bible Experience,” I tried to pick out the performers’ voices, some of them curiously familiar, some not. As I read the list of performers — from Heavy D, Star Jones Reynolds and Faith Evans to the Rev. TD Jakes, Kirk Franklin and Robert Guillaume — I couldn’t help but wonder how many of them believed the stories they were reading.

In truth, it didn’t matter. The stories and the voices transcend.

“We don’t know where they are in their faith walk, but this project united us all,” Vanzant told me. “Isn’t that what Jesus does? ‘Come unto me?’ I can imagine he’s smiling right now.”