Becoming Child-LIKE (Guest Writer)

Guest writer: Pilgrim.

Becoming Christ-Like

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” (Matthew 18: 3-5)

Introduction – Child-like not Childishness

A multitude of factors will influence the person we become in life: biological and genetic factors; parenting; social relationships; and the wider culture and times we’re born into. These factors interact in a complex and unpredictable way.

A Christian understanding of ‘personality’ is founded on a belief in the existence of God; the acceptance that He is a person with whom one is in a relationship; and the health of this relationship has consequences. Despite the pulls and pushes of nature/nurture, we have reason, character, and human agency.

Noting the above, a small child is a more complete human being than he will be in adulthood. In the right environment, children possess humility and simplicity; have the capacity for total joy and surrender; express true values; and have little sense of self entitlement. They are natural poets, artists, and explorers. A little child loves wholly; trusts wholly; and gives wholly.

A Child Asks Questions…

A recent conversation between my brother and Seth, my grandson sheds, light on childlikeness. Following a comment Peter made about being fed-up with folk treating him like a simpleton because he was unable to talk properly, Seth approached him:

Seth: Uncle Peter, what’s a simpleton?

Peter: Hmm … well. It’s a person who finds it hard to look after themselves or let people know what they need.

Seth: Oh, but can you look after yourself?

Peter: Yep, sometimes with help from others, like auntie Janet, but yes.

Seth: Uncle, but why can’t you talk properly?

Peter: Well, uncle Peter has a sore tongue and has no teeth, sweetheart, his mouth gets very dry and he runs out of breath when he talks..

Seth: Oh …. (pause) … what’s wrong with it and why haven’t you got teeth?

Peter: Well, I was very sick when you were in your mummy’s tummy and the doctors had to mend my tongue and take my teeth out.

Seth: (hesitates) Oh … Can I see?

Peter: You sure? Well, then, of course, (opens mouth and pokes togue out)

Seth: (close examination) Yuk … that looks horrible. Does it hurt?

Peter: Not at all.

Seth: Is it why you make funny noises when you talk?

Peter: In a way. When I was ill, to make me better the doctors couldn’t help it but they hurt my lungs … you know what they are ….?

Seth: Sort of … mummy shows me a toy with them and a heart and things.

Peter: They get air to our bodies …. So, the doctors couldn’t help it, but the little tubes to my lungs became smaller and now sometimes they make funny noises when I talk and breathe.

Seth: Okay …

He trots off back to his Lego. Then returns.

Seth: Uncle, how do you eat without teeth?

Peter: Well, I don’t eat or drink. I have a tube in my tummy and my food and drink goes in there.

Seth: Oh …. (frowns) Can I see?

Peter: Sure.

An inspection followed with a series of questions and a demonstration of Peter’s PEG tube and machine. After a “Wow, cool,” Seth trotted off to resume building his Lego castle.

Then later:

Seth: Uncle Peter, was that scary?

Peter: Yes, it was very scary.

(And here it comes …)

Seth: But why did God make you sick?

Peter: Well, God doesn’t make us sick. Seth. Sometimes we do things that make us sick, and other times God let’s us get sick.

Seth: But why?

Peter: Well, that’s a very big question. We have bodies that wear out, or we can break a leg sometimes, or we don’t look after ourselves, and sometimes we just get sick. We’re not perfect … like Superman … he’s pretend. Remember when we talked about Adam and Eve and what happened?

Seth: (nods) … They ate an apple ‘cos they wanted to be in charge and look after themselves instead of God doing it.

Peter: Well done! What a great answer … (High Five) … So we need to look after our bodies, like when you brush your teeth and eat your dinner, and we must be careful crossing roads and at the beach. But sometimes we just get sick. Like when you get a fever and Lucy doesn’t.

Seth: Oh … but God could make you better if he wanted.

Peter: Well, he could, but the doctors did make me better.

Seth: But you can’t eat and have no teeth and a sore tongue!

Peter: Well, that’s another really big question. Yes, God could mend me but sometimes being sick helps us to be brave and trust Jesus. It also means we must get help from other people. And that shows us they love for us. We know that God always loves us, no matter what, and always wants the best for us. So maybe, just maybe, your uncle getting sick was good for him.

Seth: But did you ask Jesus to make you better?

Peter: When I was really scared, I sure did. I asked Jesus to help me and then I had to just trust him.

Seth: Oh … okay. Did you do something bad? My daddy takes my sea monster away when I’m naughty!

Peter: God doesn’t hurt us because we’re naughty. Sometimes being naughty means bad things happen, and sometimes they just happen. Remember, he loves us and wants what’s best for us. Now, what reason did daddy have for taking your sea monster away?

Seth: Because I wanted to watch Mary Poppins and not have my dinner … and I stamped my foot … like this …. (stamps foot)

Peter: Hmm … Well, that was naughty! Not wanting to watch Mary Poppins, that’s one of my favourite films too … but stamping your foot at your daddy … No so good … So, when daddy took your toy away, it was because he loves you and wants you to have your dinner. He also wants you to listen to him and not be rude, and to do what he says. He’s helping you grow into a good, strong boy. And that’s a very good thing.

Seth: (long silence and a rather begrudging) Okay …

Peter: Now, give Uncle Peter a big hug and a High Five.

(Runs-off; happy for now)

What is Jesus Asking?

Jesus’ is calling us to humility, sincere docility, and trusting obedience. Aiming for greatness will not help us enter the Kingdom of Heaven. He directs our aim low – to that of a child.

We must have faith, acknowledging we do not understand God’s mysteries. Children do not understand very much about the world, yet they accept this and ask questions. Their lack of understanding does not trouble them. They take things as they are. They accept people. Children, especially between three to ten years of age, have the capacity to love without judgement or reserve. As we move into prepubescence, on into adolescence and then adulthood, we tend to become more cynical; more jaded; less trusting; rebellious; sceptical and return to the infant traits of dself-centredness. These traits, once embedded, turn us away from God and from others.

I don’t want to over romanticize childhood or the demands of parenthood. Babies and toddlers are demanding. They need a safe emotional and physical environment to become who they are designed to be. Furthermore, they require physical care and loving. They are unreasonable. Newborn infants are impulsive, conscious only of basic urges, needs, and desires, and having these met. Slowly they move from a preoccupation with ‘I’ towards a growing focus on ‘other.’ Infants demand and little children hope that their parents will provide for them – because it’s what parents are supposed to do.

The Betrayal of Children is a Betrayal of God

Confident dependence on the little child’s side and limitless love from parent defines healthy parent-child relationships. It reflects the love of God and lays a foundation for later in life. It is a great evil when a parent betrays this relationship. Any betrayal of a child is a grave sin. At its root, it is a lie about God.

If anyone causes one of these little ones – those who believe in me – to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18:6)

Our Lord’s words could not be plainer. Injuring a child’s innocence, failing to love them, or hindering their emotional, intellectual, or spiritual growth, harms them and this then spreads harm to others. The hurt is passed down through the generations.

St Paul tells us (Ephesians 3:14-15) parenthood is derived from God’s Fatherhood. God, our Father, wants us to trust in Him for the things we need. And He will not fail us.

And I tell you, ask and it will be given you; seek, and you will find, knock, and it will be opened to you… What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent? . . . If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him! (Luke 11:9-13).

Little children know the ‘secret’ to entering the Kingdom of Heaven.

I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. (Luke 10:21)

The World

The Catechism of the Catholic Church Catechism of the Catholic Church – PART 1 SECTION 2 CHAPTER 1 ARTICLE 1 PARAGRAPH 7 (scborromeo.org) devotes several pages to a discussion of creation and the Fall of Man. The essential character of the first sin is the loss of original holiness and justice: man is born into a state of spiritual death. As a consequence, not only are we born into a world dominated by oppression, violence, and hatred, but we experience a condition of profound alienation from our Creator. The Holy Spirit does not indwell our soul, and we are deprived of grace. Our nature as rational, spiritual beings, born in the ‘image and likeness of God,’ is wounded.

Aware of this, Jesus warned:

Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! (Mathew 18:7)

We are called to transform the lower aspects of our animal nature and to seek what is good, true, and beautiful. Searching for and experiencing the self-giving love of God is transcending. Christianity postulates interdependence between people, not individualism, mutual, freely given care for others in relationship. We are fulfilled in self-giving love, not in isolation, in union with God and love of others. A growing closeness to God develops by cultivating the virtues and by adhering to objective morality.

The Return to Childlikeness

To turn back to childhood means finding the courage to grow up. We often become fixed in adolescence and remain emotionally and mentally incomplete; as perpetual, spiritual adolescents. Our infant traits of self-centeredness resurface. To be an adult without spirituality is a deficit; it leaves a hole we try to fill in other ways – material success, position, flattery, sex, drugs, ideologies, dominating others, delusions, sports, and self-love. Christians are not immune to these shortcomings; none of us are. In downplaying spirituality or ignoring it human beings relinquish their deepest human needs.

To heed Christ’s call to return childhood the first step we take is to humbly face and accept oneself as we are – sinners who are loved by God, a God who wills only our good. We can then begin to sort through the accumulated junk from our pasts. Junk covering our ‘Christ-child,’ move on to make simple and uncomplicated demands on others without pretense, deception, or double-mindedness.

St Augustine learned the truth of Isaiah 26:3, when he stated:

You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.

Conclusion

When come to believe we have a provident loving Father who is watching out for us and who loved us even before our existence. When we believe this, there is nothing in life we cannot face. If we believe Jesus suffered, died, and rose again; that He endured all that we endure, except for sin, what is there in life that we cannot face with Him accompanying us? If we believe that the Holy Spirit prompts us, guides us, protects us, inspires us, what is there in life that we cannot face?

When we know this the peace that only God can give becomes a tangible, lived experience. We may not always understand why He moves in the way He does, and we are not exempt from suffering in this life, but we can trust there is a transformative, redemptive quality that is unexplainable.

To work for real human happiness, first we must abandon the unreality in ourselves and fill our lives with an awareness of God. Caryll Houselander writes:

If we are afraid to know ourselves for what we are, it is because we have not the least idea of what that is. It is because we have not the least idea of the miracle of life-giving love that we are. There is no pretence that can approach the wonder of the truth about us, no unreality that comes anywhere near the reality. We are “other Christs.” Our destiny is to live the Christ-life: to bring Christ’s life into the world; to increase Christ’s love in the world; to give Christ’s peace to the world.

If, in the light of this knowledge, we give ourselves unreservedly to life, every phase of it, every experience, it will lead us back to the “inward heaven of spiritual childhood.”

All the way to Heaven is Heaven,” says St. Catherine of Siena, and this true of the heaven of spiritual childhood, because it means becoming, not any child, but the Child Christ who is the life and the heaven of the soul.

By coming to know God as Father, through our dependence, uncovering His image in our souls, we recover the simplicity, humility, and trust of children. We love God, love ourselves and love one another, and are made new; restored; we see the mystery of the sacramental quality of our daily lives. Our values become true. And in changing, we can help change the world around us.