The “Do-Over”

I was recently reading some material about learning to face the things that scare us the most while being reminded again of how difficult real life-change is. We stay stuck in destructive habits and relationships, soul-draining jobs, and unhealthy bodies. We live enlarging our separation from the Holy One because facing the pain of change so frightens us that we choose to stay stuck.

The author of the work I was reading also suggested strongly that unless we are scarred by life, we have never really lived. We offer more when scarred, beat up, missing a limb or two, full of memories of missteps and “Why did I do that?” moments.

Those who can claim such painful experiences have gained power to make significant change. Those who have so protected themselves from the pain of being hurt or facing something hugely challenging with the high prospect of failure let fear make their decisions for them. When fear wins, it shuts people down. However when fear is used to discover courage, then hope emerges.

One of my mentors in the Christian faith often reminded me that it is dangerous to follow a spiritual leader who does not limp. My mentor was referring to Jacob, the son of Isaac, son of Abraham, whose many sons formed the core population who would eventually offer to us the one we know of as Jesus.

According to the Scriptures, Jacob wrestled with an angel as he prepared to meet the brother he had so grievously wronged years before. As the story goes, the angel touched Jacob’s hip and he limped for the rest of his life, a permanent reminder of the wrestling match that changed his life. A duplicitous man, full of schemes, deceits and self-protective strategies, Jacob, though clearly always flawed, also began to face life more straight-forwardly after that experience.

Which brings me to the point of this article, coming just before the end of 2011: the “do-over.”

All of us need one. Really. We need to take a hard look at the places where we’ve messed up. We need to list the important things we’ve learned from those experiences. It helps to be aware that if we haven’t learned anything, then we have not just messed up, but we have engaged in more tragic actions.

Then see how to move forward

That, at its best, is what the turning of the calendar to 2012 can do for us.

We can take this time, when almost everyone emerges from the over-everything of the holidays (food, liquor, spending, decorations, obligations, parties, family, loneliness, late nights, deprived sleep) knowing that something needs to change.

Then, we face the pain of change. It is never easy. Yet, when we see honestly the need for the do-over, we also get to come face-to-face with God in what can be an especially hopeful way. For God’s mercies are new every morning.

In the mercies of God, our scars, our wounds, our memories, our failures, our fears that bring us death can find transformation to strength, beauty and courage.

Let the holy light of God shine on our unholiness. Receive the love that says, “I have bought you with a price. You are now my beloved child. Your scars and your failures can teach the world about grace and hope if you will just receive My love.”

I, too, need to re-hear those words. I, too, need the “do-over.” I need grace to wash over me. I need to experience the transformation of my past failures and scars and carry it with me in confidence to face the pain of real growth. Then intimacy with God will touch all I do with its own experience of new mercies. This is the Good News that has been so fully announced during Christmas worship. A great joy is here.