The Temptation Of Amy Coney Barrett

The Temptation Of Amy Coney Barrett October 12, 2020

The temptation of Amy Coney Barrett, with deep and profound apologies to St. Matthew and St. Luke.


The Temptation of Amy Coney Barrett


And Amy, full of Christian charity and legal knowledge and hungry with ambition, exited the academy and was led into the halls of the highest power of the land.

A papaya-toned being at her side said to her, “Just do one tiny favor for me and you will have a lifetime job and unending security.”

And Amy answered the being and said, “I know better than to let financial security compromise my ethics.”

Then the being, whose skin was looking more orange in tone by the minute, took Amy to a major medical center stuffed with poor people taking advantage of the government by getting their health insurance through the Affordable Care Act and said, “If you’ll just do one tiny favor for me, we’ll get these people to be self-reliant and stop bleeding the government dry by their incessant demands to get medicine and treatment just because they want them.”

And Amy answered the orangey-looking being and said, “It is my job to interpret the law as it is written not the way judges or politicians want it to be written.”

Then the brighter-orange, now virus-shedding being flew Amy to a very high mountain where she could see all the abortion clinics in the US, desperate and sad women lined up, waiting for their turns for the “procedure.”

The fever-glowing being said to her, “If you will do just one tiny little favor for me, I will let you shut all those abortion clinics down and make sure those women have to bear those babies and pay the cost for having sex, even when it was forced upon them.”

Amy looked at this fever-ridden, virus-shedding orange being and said, “Tell me the favor.”

The being, rancid breath coming from its mouth as it came close to her ear, whispered, “Make sure that when the election is contested, I remain in power. Remember, I’m the only one who ever will nominate you for this post. Think of all the good you can do for this one tiny little favor in return.”

And Amy took its little hand and let it lead her to the Rose Garden where the bright-orange, fever-ridden, virus-laden being pronounced its blessing up her, showering all those present with aerosol droplets laden with misery-making, death-bringing SARS-COV-19 agents.

As the crowning ceremony ended, the being leaned over to the newly anointed Amy and said, “I have bought you with a price and your ever-so vaunted ethics have now been revealed as no better than mine. I shall show up at the opportune time for you to make good on your promise.”


Photo Credit: Sandro Botticelli, Public Domain, Link


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