I have found that approaching life with great expectations often leaves me feeling empty. In contrast, approaching life with great expectancy fills me with a sense of wonder and hope. One’s perspective can make a huge difference. This post is on contrasting the two approaches and choosing the latter.
A Life Full of Expectations or Expectancy?
My pastoral counselor Tom Schiave shared the following line recently with his congregation, Gateway Church in Portland, Oregon: “Instead of living a life full of expectations, live each day full of expectancy.” When Tom shared his perspective with me, I commandeered Seinfeld character Kenny Bania’s line, “That’s gold, Tom! Gold!” (Check out the opening clip at this video link for Kenny’s Seinfeld quote.)
Great Expectations, Blank Checks, and Fool’s Gold
In my experience, approaching life with great expectations involves demanding that God sign a blank check. It leaves me feeling like I’ve been sold a bill of goods, or that I’ve seized fool’s gold. In contrast, when I approach life with a sense of great expectancy, I don’t seize anything but live with an open hand.
Some of you know that my son endured a traumatic brain injury three and a half years ago. He is receiving neuro-occupational therapy along with Botox shots in the effort to get his hands to open and stay open rather than curl up into clenched fists. Scripture serves as therapy for me in the effort to make the same effort spiritually and live before God with great expectancy and an open hand.
Great Expectations in the Lives of Jesus’ Family, Forerunner, and Followers
Those who live with great expectations rarely find that life agrees to meet their demands. Some, no doubt, believe they’ve been swindled and say something like, “Life has sold me a bill of goods.” I wonder if Mary, John the Baptist, and Peter ever felt this way.
Great Expectations: Joseph, Mary and Jesus
After all, the angel informed Mary she would be the mother of the Messiah. John was his forerunner. Peter was one of his followers. They expected great things of Jesus, but I doubt they had any clue of what he and they would have to endure along the way.
You may recall the scene when Mary and Joseph were in a panic, searching for a twelve-year-old Jesus in Jerusalem. When they finally found him in the temple talking with the religious leaders, Mary scolded him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.” (Luke 2:48b; NIV) Jesus responded, “Why were you searching for me?’ he asked. ‘Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?’ But they did not understand what he was saying to them.” (Luke 2:49-50; NIV) How could they when they were likely focused on family comes first?
Great Expectations: John the Baptist and Jesus
Consider, too, an imprisoned John the Baptist’s instructions to his disciples. They were to ask Jesus, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” (Luke 7:19b; NIV) Listen to Jesus’ response:
At that very time Jesus cured many who had diseases, sicknesses and evil spirits, and gave sight to many who were blind. So he replied to the messengers, “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.” (Luke 7:21-23; NIV)
Jesus’ answer rewrote the script and likely messed with John’s expectations that Jesus would overthrow God’s enemies, restore Israel, and free him from an unjust imprisonment. National security comes first.
Great Expectations: Peter and Jesus
Then there’s Peter. Peter went from getting an A on the first exam and an F on the second exam in the account recorded in Matthew 16. When Jesus asked his followers who do they think he is, Peter confessed that Jesus is the Christ or Messiah, the Son of God. (Matthew 16:16-20) Jesus handed him the keys to the kingdom! In other words, he got a gold star or A+!
In the next scene, Jesus rebukes Peter for rebuking him for declaring he would suffer greatly and die at the hands of his enemies. (Matthew 16:21) No doubt, Peter made a connection between Jesus’ claim on what awaits him and what awaits himself. The servant is not greater than the master and so can expect a similar fate. And so, he cringes and pivots: career comes first, including service to God.
Here’s Jesus’ stinging rebuke, the equivalent of a letter F for Peter: “Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.’” (Matthew 16:23; NIV) Jesus goes on to tell the disciples that they can expect a similar fate. So much for a successful career free from suffering! (See Matthew 16:24-27)
Great Expectancy in the Lives of Jesus’ Family, Forerunner, and Followers
Mary, John the Baptist, and Peter did not only have certain expectations they wished for Jesus to fulfill. In my estimation, they also modeled the needed flexibility to move from having great expectations to operating from great expectancy in their relationship with Jesus.
Great Expectancy: Mary and Jesus
For her part, Mary made space in her heart for Jesus’ actions and words rather than put him in eternal timeout in his room. “Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.” (Luke 2:51; NIV) She did not become hard of heart, but instead entrusted her son Jesus and her entire family to God.
Great Expectancy: John the Baptist and Jesus
For his part, John did not demand that Jesus meet his expectations. Troubled as he was in his prison cell for how everything had turned out, nonetheless, he frames his angst as an open question. He framed his question in an inquisitive rather than inquisitional manner. Is Jesus the promised deliverer, or should they expect someone else? Indeed, Jesus is the promised deliverer, but the deliverance looks very different from what John expected. John needed to adjust and move from imposing set expectations on Jesus and live with great expectancy. He entrusted Israel’s future to God.
Great Expectancy: Peter and Jesus
Expectations are fixed, not flexible. Expectancy makes room for adjustments whereby we allow God to write the script. The only expectations with God that are worthwhile are the ones God promises to meet. We find such a promise following Jesus’ rebuke of Peter when he tells all his disciples:
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.” (Matthew 16:24-27; NIV)
What is so striking to me about Peter is that although Jesus’ words disturbed him, and no doubt the rebuke was painful, he kept right on following the Lord. The same is true of the other disciples. They hold to Jesus’ teaching and make adjustments regarding what they can expect for their careers as Christian leaders. Peter and the other disciples who remained true to Jesus entrusted their careers to God.
Great Expectancy and Greater Expectations Based on God’s Call and Promise
I believe that each in their own way, Mary, John, and Peter moved from scripting great expectations of Jesus to pursuing him with a sense of great expectancy. Whenever I allow God to write the script rather than write it for God, it fills me with a sense of wonder and hope.
Those who live by way of great expectancy don’t get shortchanged. If anything, living with great expectancy makes it possible for us to have greater expectations based on God’s call and promise to us: “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.” (Matthew 16:25-27)
Open Hand and Heart Therapy: Wonder and Hope
As I indicated at the outset of this post, in my experience, approaching life with great expectations involves demanding that God sign a blank check. It leaves me feeling like I’ve been sold a bill of goods, or that I’ve seized fool’s gold. In contrast, when I approach life with a sense of great expectancy, I don’t seize anything but live with an open hand.
Just as I often follow the therapist orders to move and massage my son Christopher’s arms and hands so that they will flex and open more, so I need to flex and open my heart to God. Living before God with a sense of expectancy of how the Lord will choose to work in Christopher’s life fills me with a sense of wonder and hope. Similarly, living before God with a sense of expectancy of how the Lord will choose to work in my life and in society also fills my heart with wonder and hope for the future.
Open Hands, Open Universe
Jesus lived with open hands, not clenched fists. After all, he believed in an open rather than closed universe where God intervenes. We see Jesus’ outlook on display in the piece of art by Matthias Grünewald accompanying this blog post. The painting displays Jesus’ pierced hands, which ever remain open to God.
God brings good out of bad, expands our horizons, and operates according to his calculus that ends up blessing our families, nations, and careers in an upside-down kingdom way far more than we could ever imagine now and in eternity. All the Lord asks is that we remain open in hand and heart to God.
I am tired of writing blank checks as demands that God will never sign. I am worn out by seizing fool’s gold of great expectations that my mind has fabricated. Such efforts only lead to a sense of disillusionment, disbelief, and despair.
I choose to live before God with an open hand, looking to God to write life’s script. It leads to a sense of adventure, anticipation, awe, and wonder. To adapt Seinfeld character Kenny Bania’s line, “That’s gold!” Pure gold.”
PS: I also wish to thank Pastor David Greenidge for the privilege of sharing a message on this theme last Sunday with Tigard Covenant Church, Tigard, Oregon. Pastor Deborah Greenidge and the worship team always lead the way in ushering us into the presence of God in corporate worship, as in evidence here. The sermon I gave begins shortly after 47:30 in the video below.
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