Comb Life for Meaning and Purpose

Humans comb life for meaning and purpose. The situation involving my son Christopher’s traumatic brain injury and the eighteen-month saga following the life-altering injury is no exception. Like my son, I often feel like my own state of consciousness comes and goes. Still, I continue to reemerge and comb each day for signs of hope and reasons to keep on living with purpose.

We received word several days ago that Christopher was approved for twenty-four sessions of occupational therapy and physical therapy, respectively. This was an encouraging report, as is the news that his Geri chair is scheduled to arrive this week. It will be far more comfortable for him than the typical wheelchair. These are welcome signs, just like the recent baclofen pump surgery that has led to decreasing spasticity and increasing range of motion.

These are not the only signs of progress. Just this week, I offered Christopher a comb. He moved the thumb on his right hand to receive it and then clasped the comb between the thumb and fingers. Then I moved his right arm toward his head and showed him how to comb his hair. After lowering his arm, I asked Christopher to comb his hair. He moved his arm up toward his head and tried to comb his hair. I lowered his hand with the comb in it and encouraged him to do it again. Christopher raised the comb toward his head and attempted to comb his hair again. We did the same exercise for a few minutes. He made the same raised motion each time. I was ecstatic.

Who would have ever thought attempting to comb one’s hair would be cause for rejoicing? Perhaps my parents would have rejoiced if I had tried to keep my hair kempt during my Jim Morrison phase in high school. But even that would not compare! Only if one has waited eighteen months or so for any signs of such conscious activity on the part of one’s child would there be such joy. It was a meaningful and memorable visit while on a journey that can seem so pointless or meaningless to the naked eye.

Ecclesiastes talks about the meaninglessness of life, while at the same time noting that we should remember God before life’s hardships overwhelm us: “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, ‘I find no pleasure in them’” (Ecclesiastes 12:1; NIV). I am no longer young, but I am still trying to remember my Creator on a daily, almost moment by moment basis in the effort to find value, where I might be tempted to stop combing for meaning and purpose during these “days of trouble”. Conscious control moments like these at Christopher’s bedside stir my heart to keep pressing on.

It can be exhausting combing life for meaning and purpose, perhaps not unlike the nihilist’s struggle to despair of life having intrinsic value and significance. The Dude puts it best in The Big Lebowski. When he’s informed that the guy sleeping on a float in the swimming pool is a nihilist, the Dude replies: “That must be exhausting.” Either way, life can be exhausting for the nihilist and non-nihilist alike. But at least for me, searching for intrinsic meaning, purpose, and faith is a good kind of exhausting. It builds resilience and character, as do Christopher attempts to comb his hair.

Christopher gets tired very quickly in focusing his efforts to perform a task. It was taxing, though exhilarating, to see his determination to concentrate all his conscious energy on trying to lift the comb to his head. If Christopher, who has gone through living hell for much of the past eighteen months, can try to comb his hair, surely, I can expend my energy to comb life for meaning and purpose today and every day.  This is one of many reasons I tell my son during each of my visits how proud I am of him. He’s a true warrior in the battle for life.

I will bring Christopher’s comb with me and encourage him to comb his hair again during my visit with him today. Keep trying to comb your hair, Christopher. I will keep combing life for meaning and purpose, too.

To read the various posts related to Christopher’s journey, please go to this link. Thank you for your care and prayers!