The Root of the Fall
When good men fall, it’s often linked to issues related to sex, money, or power. We express shame regarding the immoral behavior of our spiritual heroes. How can they descend to such depths? How can they let us down so profoundly?
We wonder why they couldn’t simply say ‘no,’ as many of us do. Why did their selfish behavior have to cause us harm?
The Hidden Struggle
A Long Battle in Silence
As experience shows, a silent fall doesn’t occur overnight. It is the result of a long, often hidden struggle. Most men keep these battles to themselves, becoming more aware of their unmet needs and occasionally overstepping others’ boundaries in their attempts to satisfy them.
Shift in Focus
Their ministries, initially centered on Jesus and serving others, have gradually shifted to the background over the years. Life has grown more complex. From obscure servants of God to ‘famous’ Christian leaders, they’ve transformed, with wealth and luxury gaining prominence.
The Inevitable Slide
The Downward Spiral
The initial fall is both entirely and not at all about sex, power, and money. These elements play a role, but they are merely tools. Overwhelmed by desperation and immense pressure, the man seeks more potent means to fill his void, akin to an addict needing stronger doses.
John’s Confession
John confided about his struggles with the adoration from young women in his congregation, his constant resistance, and his unmet desires for excitement and adoration. Despite a fulfilling relationship with Annelies, he yearned for more, leading to a disrupted balance in his life.
The Unexpected Collapse
The downfall seemed sudden and unexpected – one affair followed swiftly by another. John lost control of his life. Perhaps he wanted to fall; maybe this was the only way he saw to stop.
A silent fall,
A secret fall,
Once more,
Unseen by all.
It feels so right,
What does it matter?
It’s not permissible,
Yet so many things aren’t.
“This is my last time,”
I yearn to stop,
“Just once more,”
Will it ever be the last?
The public fall…
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