5 Tips For Handling Your Emotions

5 Tips For Handling Your Emotions April 6, 2018

3) Measure Your Values

Emotions are strongest when our values are threatened. One of the ways emotion robs us is through distraction. We focus on the circumstance that triggered the emotion rather than the underlying value that feels threatened. The source of our emotions is our values, not our circumstances.

The next time you get angry over traffic, ask yourself what value is causing you to have such a strong reaction. Why is your alarm going off? What is in danger? Is it the need to be productive or the need to feel valued? Our emotions are not as arbitrary as they seem.

 

4) Name Your Adversary

When we can measure our emotions against our values, we gain an essential foothold in handling our emotions.

The real battle when we encounter emotions is maintaining proper perspective. Our emotions kick and scream like children throwing a tantrum. They boil and bubble like a witch’s spell.

Mired in victim mentality, we start to point at our circumstances. We blame the guy who cuts us off in traffic, or our spouse for saying something insensitive. We blame politics or religion.

If we want to get a handle on our emotion, we have to sift through the tantrum to discover what/who our true adversary is. Is it a pattern of insecurity? A lack of communication?

We need to take the time to think beyond the surface circumstances. If we do not know what is really going on and cannot name the values being threatened, we will continue to mishandle our emotions.

 

5) Solution Versus Validation

Our emotions are so strong, they can act like a tornado. They desperately try to grab everything in their path, lift them away from their proper place, and spin them into their vortex.

Our emotions reach out to people who will validate them. They argue. They cut down. All in an attempt to validate their existence.

This is why number 1 on this list is so important. Our emotions need to be acknowledged as valuable. If we can do that properly, we can move on to finding solutions. We can share with our partners and friends. We can address the pursuit of value with our hearts, minds, and souls.

Our emotion is not a monster that needs to be fed. It is an alarm letting us know something needs to be addressed. If we focus on validation, the monster will never be satisfied. He may lie dormant for a time, only to burst from his cave at a later time. If we focus on solutions, seeking and sharing truth, we will be able to harness our emotions and steer our reactions in a direction that adds value to our lives and our relationships.


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