2) Humility and Approval
Ironically, humility is a key component to confidence. When we are constantly chasing approval, we are always on trial. Always trying to prove ourselves worthy.
Arrogant people never learn. They never grow. Some of us want confidence for that very reason – we think it is a short cut to not having to worry about anything, to figuring everything out. Confidence is not about certainty. We will never be satisfied – always a little unsure, a little confused. Confidence is about having the humility to admit when this is the case.
3) Seek the Mission
Remember when we said acceptance is the base layer, not the end goal? All of us sense there is something greater than ourselves in the world. Insecure people fight this idea until their death. Confidence comes when we find the true mission and chase it.
Trying to make life all about ourselves is exhausting. We don’t believe it and nobody around us does either. There is a sense of freedom in letting go of our arrogance. In finding something truer than ourselves to participate in.
When we do this, we are no longer our ideas. It is no longer my way or the highway, narcissism or irrelevance.
Confidence is not about overcoming the challenges of life. It is about reframing them – no longer seeing them as indictments against your identity, but as an opportunity to pursue the mission.
4) Learn to Endure
When we are pursuing the mission, setbacks are no longer devastating. They hurt but they do not destroy. We can remain confident that the mission survives. We have a part to play and are called to play it well.
Confidence is about being bold in the face of fear and confusion. It is not about eliminating fear and confusion. Those we cannot get rid of definitively. Bravery requires fear. Confidence requires uncertainty. Because when we endure, we discover that all of the things we are afraid of are secondary to the potential good in our lives and in our world.