As a New Yorker, I feel like I am constantly apologizing for the crowds. When I’m talking to friends or family from other parts of the country, the most frequent refrain I hear is, “I could never live around so many people”. Believe me, I get it. But there is more to the story than what meets the eye. Believe it or not, the crowds add to the value of living in New York City. Interrupted… again! Yesterday I... Read more
While there has been plenty of talk about former FBI-Director James Comey’s book, A Higher Loyalty, most of it is missing the point. This post is neither an indictment nor affirmation of Comey as an individual, his actions, or even his book. While it is easy to get lost in the gossip and the personalities and the political drama, there is a huge piece of truth being presented amidst the muck and the grime. Pundits want to talk about the... Read more
My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for more than a year. A few months ago, we lost a baby at just five weeks. To say it has been a challenge is an obvious understatement. Our journey with infertility and miscarriage has shown me a few things about how we approach the grieving process and spurned a few thoughts on how we might do it better. Avoidance Far and away, the most striking thing about our... Read more
I’m not a big environmentalist. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy this planet as much as the next guy. But I’ve never gone out of my way, politically or otherwise, to fight for the literal world we live in. I tell you this to let you know that this is not your typical Earth Day plea. But I do want to share an observation I had this month that has helped change the way I view our world. It has... Read more
We live in a crowded world. There are things that happen around us every day. These things do not happen in a vacuum. People, circumstances, climate, and culture are inevitable variables in the arena of life. There are two fundamental ways to respond to these inevitabilities. Two warring perspectives that vie for our attention. One of these options will cripple us and the other will set us free. Victim Mentality There is no doubt that life affects us. The decisions... Read more
Hope is one of the most powerful virtues available to humans. Although we talk about it in placid tones and with half-hearted fervor, true hope has all but disappeared from today’s society. When we claim to have hope, it is almost always tainted with an underlying sense of deep dread. We expect hope to be unfulfilled, which is not really hope at all. ‘Hope’ has been watered down to mean something like ‘I suppose my expectation of disappointment might be... Read more
It is amazing what we are capable of. We can live with people everyday, but feel lonely and completely unknown. The decay of family intimacy can always be traced to a breakdown in communication. There is no quicker way to build (or destroy) a family than by addressing the system by which we communicate. Every relationship we have is a practice for family relationship. Some families we are born into, and some we choose. These four steps are helpful for... Read more
When I think about my life, there are few things that seem more important than balance. Should I fight to be heard or sacrifice myself to serve others? Should I focus on responsibility and security or on taking the risk to chase my dreams? Should I set boundaries or live in freedom? My best life is not one or the other. Life is not about the one right answer but about finding balance among the complicated possibilities. The Perfect Metaphor I... Read more
Few things excite us more than the possibility of relationships. The more intimate, the more alluring. We imagine the power of sex and the joy of being cared for. We see the cure to loneliness and the promise of support and affection. From Romantic Comedies to pornography (believe it or not) to whispered gossip among friends, we have bought into The Romance Trap. And it affects much more than just the dating world. Far Reaching We view dating and... Read more
Emotions are a huge part of who we are and an essential ingredient in human relationships. Emotions are what drive us to other people and what tear us away from them. Living in intimacy with another person means emotions will inevitably get high. Circumstances, old wounds, and defense mechanisms will push our temperature up and inform how we communicate and behave. We often talk about emotions ‘getting the better of us’. What we mean when we use this phrase is... Read more
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