I do like me some Batman. Or, more fairly, I like me some Batmans. I like the Christopher Nolan/Christian Bale dark, growly version of the guy. I like the subtle, Gothic, Michael Keaton Batman. I like the campy, clever, Adam West Batman from the 1960s—especially when he’s fending off sharks with his special bat shark repellent.
But in all these incarnations, Batman’s still supposed Batman is supposed to adhere to a certain set of rules. Rule No. 1: No killing.
So after being pretty excited about the upcoming Batman Versus Superman: Dawn of Justice movie (coming out in 2016), I’m a little nervous about the gun turret on the new Batmobile. After all, cars are a reflection of the man—especially in Batman’s case. Hardcore firepower seems superfluous for a guy who swore off firearms when his parents were killed.
Still, the thing looks cool. And, just for fun, let’s look at some of the more notable Batmobiles of the past, rating them as both a motorized extension of the Dark Knight and for just sheer awesomeness. (And we’ll hold off judging the new vehicle until we see it in action.)
1941 (Detective Comics #48)
The first Batmobile was a sleek, red monster with, if you look really closely, maybe a little bat hood ornament. It wasn’t exactly a car that’d help you keep a low profile, I suppose … but compared to some later Batmobiles, this thing is practically a Honda Accord. Plus, I’d imagine that this would be just the thing to impress Vicki Vale.
Bat-rating: 4.
1949 (Batman and Robin serial)
Sure, the first Batmobile was a little short on fins and rockets, but it still looked way cooler than the 1949 Mercury convertible used in this very low-budget serial. It’s clear looking at this picture that, really, Batman and his chosen mobile operate with a certain symbiosis. If Batman is forced to drive just an ordinary car, the overall impression is not one that would cause criminals to run away in fear as much as to laugh.
Bat-rating: 1.
1950 (Detective Comics #156)
Now, here’s a Batmobile I would’ve driven. The huge bubble cockpit, perfect for viewing the city of Gotham. The massive single fin that, while it cuts down on trunk space, surely improves aerodynamics. And that huge bat head on the front—like a battering ram to punch out evil. This car is so fierce and intimidating that Batman apparently broke his leg just building the thing. Perhaps he was wrestling with the car’s utter awesomeness.
Bat-rating: 7
1966 (Batman television show)
This is the first Batmobile that I ever saw—not on the original television show (which I didn’t first watch until I was 16 on after-school reruns) but as a miniature car. And it still looks awesome. Why, oh why, did car manufacturers never pursue bubble windshields like this? And my Honda Fit (also black) would sure look great with a set of fins.
And look at the interior! Red-trimmed black leather seats. A fire extinguisher between the buckets. Defensive weaponry—“nails,” “ejector seat,” “rockets” clearly labeled. What commuter couldn’t use this on his way to work? ‘Course, since the car was commissioned by a billionaire, you’d expect it to be pretty pricey, and it is. The original was sold in real life for $4.2 million last year. But you can get a replica made for a mere $150,000, if you’d like. No word whether the ejector seat works.
Bat-rating: 10
1973 (Superfriends)
In the 1970s, the television Batmobile got an animated update, eliminating the black-and-red motif in favor of basic blue. This was the first Batmobile that I actually saw in action, and it looks perfectly servicable … but I actually don’t remember it much. Wonder Woman’s invisible plane is, truth be told, much cooler—even if the plane’s invisibility is somewhat negated by the seemingly floating superhero inside.
Bat-rating: 5
1989 (Batman)
I have a soft spot for the classic 1966 version, but in terms of pure aesthetics, this might be the prettiest Batmobile ever. Low, sleek and with a killer security system, this Batmobile was a perfect car for the dark, gothic vibe of Tim Burton’s Batman movie. And the fins were huge! Still, all those curves and circles and blackness remind me just a little of a Norelco razor.
Bat-rating: 8
1997 (Batman & Robin)
After that strong cinematic start in 1989, the Batman movie series went swiftly downhill, bottoming out with Batman & Robin. The nipples on George Clooney’s batsuit earned the most notoriety, but the Batmobile wasn’t much better. It looks like it sorta glowed on the inside (which you’d think would be a problem for the driver) and that, combined with the jagged exterior makes it look like Satan’s nightlight. On the upside, the fins on the Batmobile model would make for a great backscratcher.
Bat-rating: 4
2005 (Batman Begins)
For a lot of Bat-fans, I’d imagine that Christopher Nolan’s Batmobile, the Tumbler, is No. 1. And yeah, the thing is pretty cool. Granted, all those oddly tilted metal panels must really cut down on the Batmobile’s gas mileage, but that’s probably not a huge consideration for the billionaire driving it. And the thing does look hard to drive. But the fact that it has a motorcycle hidden in its black metallic folds? Killer.
Bat-rating: 9
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In