What Went Wrong With Justice League (and How to Fix It)

About Batman

Batman is awesome. We all know this. As the T-shirts tell us, “Always be yourself unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman.”

Unless, that is, you’re Batman in Justice League.

Ben Affleck’s Batman, admittedly, has some challenges in keeping up with his superpowered brethren. When Aquaman asks him what his superpower is, Bats says—somewhat lamely—”I’m rich.”

Batman works wonderfully in a more grounded reality, where he’s taking on mere mortal psychopaths. Christopher Nolan’s take on the character still sets the cinematic superhero bar, as far as I’m concerned. But in Justice League, he’s almost a pathetic hanger-on—an overmatched wannabe whose limitless try doesn’t make up for his lack of talent. If Zack Snyder’s Justice League was a football team, Batman would be the bench-warmer, only on the team because he bought the uniforms.

He’s rescued by Superman and Aquaman and Wonder Woman and, heck, even Lois Lane. He lacks a signature kick-butt moment in the film. Even the cool gadgets he brings to the party are co-opted by Cyborg, who can apparently drive them better and make them go faster. Sure, Batman had some issues before: After the events of Justice League, he’ll need to go into counseling just to get his confidence back up.

But Batman was a charter member of the comic-book Justice League, and he’s held his own with these superpowered folks for decades. It’s not like he can’t hang with these guys. Even when I first got my first whiff of the character from the Saturday morning cartoon Super Friends, I certainly never thought of him as underpowered or lame.

Snyder’s Justice League sees Batman as a liability. But his fans know he’s the baddest cat in the room. And I think that’s not in spite of his relative weaknesses, but because of them.

In a straight-up fight, the Dark Knight’s outclassed: Batman can’t outrun flash or outswim Aquaman or outpunch Wonder Woman.

But here’s the thing: Batman wouldn’t try. He’s a chessmaster who allows your queen to run rampant on the board while he checkmates you. He’s the mongoose who avoids the cobra’s fangs while sneaking behind for the kill. He’ll leverage every advantage and use every weakness. Batman can be beat, but he’ll never be beat easily. Not even by Superman.

He’s the World’s Greatest Detective. And as a mortal in a superhuman world, he’s forced to think harder and faster than anyone. He’s Tyrion from Game of Thrones, or (ugh) Bill Belichick of the Patriots: The ultimate strategist. He’s Bruce Lee in a cape, the ultimate ninja. Superpowers? He don’t need no stinkin’ superpowers. To give him some would give the guy an unfair advantage. He’s a man with a plan for every contingency. Batman shouldn’t be pitied by his fellow JL’ers: He should be respected. Maybe even a little feared.

Oh, and Mr. Snyder? Please, no guns. Just stop with the guns.