Spiritual direction is not about “problem-solving”. It is a gracious space for listening.
Preeminently it is a space for listening to the voice of God. But that discipline inevitably draws attention to the shape of our lives as well because the habits that shape our lives shape our ability to hear.
Most people come to spiritual direction unaware of this fact. It is easy to assume that spiritual challenges are in a class all their own.
But the anthropology of the Bible and the Christian tradition insist that we human beings are a union of things – spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical. And the truth of that conviction is confirmed again and again in the life-challenges that we face.
One example is the effort to remain “in the moment”. That ability is central to hearing the voice of God but it is also probably one of the greatest challenges that we encounter and there are a variety of obstacles to that effort that are not “spiritual” – not on the surface, at any rate.
My own struggle to stay in the moment can be traced to a gift for analyzing what I could have done differently in the past but also a gift for analyzing how things might go awry in the future. This gift for not only doing a “post-mortem” but “pre-mortems” does not have just spiritual roots. It is also a function of personality, family of origin, birth order, and my professional formation as both an academic and a some-time administrator. And there are even some advantages to these patterns.
But years ago, one of the most important spiritual directors in my life brought my attention to its real liabilities spiritually. A slight, but thoughtful, incisive director, Liz Moulin was both a credentialed director and a therapist. Sitting with me over months on end, she had no problem identifying the way in which my professional training had seeped into my spiritual life. And, like the best of directors, when she realized that I might not be alert to the problem, she finally noted: “You know, if you keep one foot in the past and the other foot in the future, you will s— on the present.” The truth of the observation was even more striking, given the fact that the language she used was utterly foreign to her way of talking.
But her observation has stuck with me. And it has helped me over the years to distill certain convictions about the spiritual life that are worth keeping in mind:
Even strengths that serve us well professionally can become an obstacle to our spiritual lives. The ability to analyze the past and provide for the future can be great leadership tools. They can serve us well in securing the future of the institutions that we work for. They can be useful at home in securing the well-being of our families. But if it dominates our way of being, this pattern and others can make it difficult to listen for the voice of God or celebrate the gifts we are given in the moment.
It is important, then, to examine the habits of the heart that shape the way that we navigate life and to consider when, where, and how they may help or hinder us. It is common to assume that spiritual direction is all about up-rooting and eliminating certain ways of being. And there are undoubtedly times when that is important to do. Some patterns are universally devastating. Addiction is a good example.
But, more often than not, habits of the heart are best weighed through self-examination. And, as they apply to our spiritual lives we should always ask, “Will their use in this moment draw me closer to God and others, or drive me away from them?” (Thank you, St. Ignatius!)
The great gift of this approach is that it not only opens us to the prompting of the Holy Spirit in the moment, it also makes it possible to bring the whole of our lives into God’s presence. And in that moment we discover the breadth of God’s grace and love.
In memoriam:
Elizabeth Jeannette Taylor Moulin
08/21/1934 – 08/27/2023
Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash
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