This post was supposed to come out at the start of summer but I made the mistake of blinking, and now, somehow, it’s already July. That’s just how summer goes! As the days on the calendar fly by, summer can hold a lot of pressure. So many adventures to be had in so little time! And if you have kids, so much pent-up energy in such little space! Here are a few things to keep in mind, as you settle into the days of summer.
1. Say “Yes” to the Mess (temporarily!)
I know full well what having kids home 24/7 during the summer can do to the tidiness level of the house. I’m not saying to let full-on chaos reign…trust me, I know what that can do to a mom’s sanity!
But, don’t let the fear of a mess keep you from making memories! Let them destroy the living room to make a blanket fort. Encourage them to experiment with their own recipes in the kitchen covering every surface with flour. Let them make mud castles or mud pies in the backyard (followed by a hose-down or bath time, of course!)
There’s value in saying “yes” more often to messy adventures! On top of being a fun and creative hands-on bonding experience, it can actually be helpful for your child’s brain development.
2. Your Summer Doesn’t have to be Perfect to be Memorable
You may have heard the reminder recently, “You only have 18 summers with your children. Make the most of it!” I’m a total believer in soaking up the moments and realizing time is fleeting before it’s gone. The sentiment behind this statement, I support 100%.
However, it can also create a lot of pressure to try to do EVERYTHING and make “perfect” memories for your kids. You don’t have to cram your schedule full to the point of exhaustion. You also don’t have to get flawless insta-worthy photos of every adventure in order for your kids to look back on them fondly.
To me, realizing I have limited summers with my kids, makes me want to let them be kids as long as possible. It makes me want to soak in the little moments like the three of them laughing as they play together in the backyard. It makes me appreciate their joy as they learn to ride bikes for the first time or bake in the kitchen without any assistance.
The fact that my time with them at home is limited is something I am all too aware of. These “everyday” moments are the ones I know I’ll miss the most!
3. Prioritize Presence Over Extravagance this Summer
For some, summer may be the time to travel together as a family, whether jetting off on a plane to an exotic location or cruising down the coastline in an overstuffed vehicle with no elbow room between siblings. For others, it may mean enjoying the sunshine in simple and low-cost ways, such as days out at the lake or pool, picnics in the park, evening bike rides, and more. There’s no right or wrong here! I’d dare to say, that for the kids, it’s not so much about where you are physically, as where you are mentally.
One thing that I’ve strived hard to focus on lately is being “present” in the moment with my kids. Yes, that means setting the phone down (even if you tell yourself “it’s just out to take pictures”).
I know in a lot of households, both parents still work through the summer, so you may be thinking, “How can I be present all the time?” Let me clarify, it’s not about being around your kids 24 hours a day dropping everything to be at their beck and call. Age-appropriate independence is good for them, and hey, you need some alone time too. What I’m talking about, is being intentionally and fully present in the moments you have with them.
We tend to split our attention most of the time, so much so that we hardly realize we’re doing it. We might be sitting next to our children but scrolling on our phones (calling it “unwinding”), or we may be talking with them, but our brain is still focused on issues at work. In a society where things are constantly vying for our attention, it’s important that our children realize that they deserve to be a priority. Something I’ve been telling myself lately is: 100% of your attention 20% of the time is better than 20% of your attention 100% of the time. Kids notice if you’re not actively listening or engaging – even if you don’t.
4. Routine Doesn’t Have to Go Out the Window in the Summer
I’ll be the first to admit, there’s something nice about not having to get three kids ready and out the door by 7:30 every morning. I like the flexibility summer days offer and the ability to meet up with friends on a whim.
The change from the super structured school days to complete freedom can lead to chaos though. Our kids being home all the time is as much of an adjustment for them as it is for us. Sometimes, it’s nice to create some form of a loose schedule. This is something that I can probably do a better job of. We do have a few things we try to be consistent about in the summer:
Getting outside every day – time in the sunshine, walking, playing, or swimming
Responsibilities before privileges– clean rooms and chores done before screens. This also helps lessen the amount of screen time and make it so they don’t ask to watch tv first thing in the morning. I mean, who wants to go scoop dog poop or clean the bathroom at 6 in the morning?
Physical and mental stimulation– I know my kids need both of these every day to be functioning at an optimal level (we probably all do!) They get physical exercise on their bikes and skates and are learning to code to keep their brains engaged. We’re trying to keep them learning in a way that doesn’t feel like “school work” 😉
Family movie and game nights – not every night, but at least once or twice a week, we’ll let them stay up late and watch a movie together, or play Mario Party or a board game as a family.
As far as set times go, we don’t have much of a daily schedule. It varies day to day, but I find we all tend to function a little better with some consistency. Finding a balance of structure and flexibility is key. I’d love to hear from other moms, what your summer routines look like, if you have any!
5. Your Kids Are a Gift, Not a Distraction.
As adults, we have mile-long lists of responsibilities, and sometimes we have to focus on other things besides our kids. I mean, obviously, if given the choice, most of us would rather be hanging with our kids than working, grocery shopping, or paying bills. There are things that have to get done – it’s just part of life.
Other times though, what we have in front of us may be consuming our attention and causing us to become easily irritated with our kids, when in reality, it’s something we can let go of. I think it’s important for us to be mindful of our time and where it gets spent. Often times, we can say “we’re doing this for the kids” but if it’s keeping us away from them or making us become resentful toward them, are we really doing it for them? What good is a bigger house, if you’re working so hard you don’t have time to make memories in it?
“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” – Dr. John Trainer
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Each family is unique and there’s not one proper way to spend your summer. This is just a reminder (for you & myself) to be intentional, be present, and let your kids be kids as long as possible!
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