February 23, 2014

You called me out upon the water. The great unknown, where feet may fail…** There are myriad blogs out there about how to keep the marriage spicy; how to love well; how to honor your husband or love your wife; how twenty years later you’ll be more in love than ever… This is not that blog. It’s not that I don’t think those words are true or useful – I do. It’s just that, given the recent tumult of my… Read more

December 19, 2013

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men…” “It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.” “I never, with… Read more

November 18, 2013

So here’s my rant for the day. I’ve seen a blog floating around, proclaiming that those who shop on Thanksgiving Thursday “are part the problem.” I agree. Whole-heartedly. But the idea that we can separate Thursday from Black Friday is absurd to me. Because in both cases, we’re not merely interrupting the holidays of our friends who now have to work instead of eat more turkey; we’re not merely contributing to and bolstering a wholly consumerist culture. No, in any… Read more

November 10, 2013

PS: A Post-Script to My Open Letter to Birthing Moms >> Please keep rejoicing and celebrating your pregnancies out loud and on Facebook. We who can’t have babies don’t want to be the reason for your silence, anymore than we want to be wounded by your words. Most of the time, we’re excited for you and with you! We know what is to “rejoice with one another.” We just hope that, even as we rejoice with you and celebrate your… Read more

November 10, 2013

Dear Birthing Mothers, I’ve wanted to write this letter to you, to us, for a while. But until this moment, it’s been a thing of anger for me. I’ve read your comments, your Facebook statuses; I’ve read of your wishes and dreams and hopes and losses, and I’ve seethed with anger at your ignorance. But right now, in this moment, I’m not so much angry with you as I am sad and hurt for those you unknowingly wound. Like me…. Read more

September 5, 2013

I’ve read a LOT of blogs lately. Blogs about how girls should dress, how young ladies should protect young men, how the way a girl dresses defines her. I’ve read about how a girl is responsible for the looks she gets, for what goes on in a boy’s mind, for if and how much he lusts after her. I’ve read blogs from mothers of sons, who’ve warned girls of the impending Facebook block, should she show up too scantily clad… Read more

May 14, 2013

You have GOT to be kidding me. Two miles in? Already? No. NO. Too bad. This is it. I’m all in.  I’m doing this.  MILES 1 – 10.68 >> NORDIC SKI TRAIL LOOP Saturday morning May 11, just six months after running my first ultra marathon, the Wild Duluth 50k on the Superior Hiking Trail – and swearing 27 miles into it that I would never, EVER entertain such a horrible idea ever again – I laced up my shoes for my… Read more

April 14, 2013

About a year ago, my brilliant guitarist husband (Paul Koopman) and I worked out what we think is a great cover of The Cure’s ageless wonder, “Lovesong.”  I’ve always been moved by the song’s simplicity. Lyrically, it’s nothing terribly fancy, and yet it says everything we want to say to and hear from our lovers. Full of that agape/eros love that’s totally invested, utterly vulnerable, and completely unconditional. However far away…However long I stay…Whatever words I say…I will always love… Read more

March 17, 2013

              It started as a weight loss obsession; my utterly unhealthy have-to-get-skinny response to my sister dropping major weight after having two babies. I’d always felt inferior and ugly. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had what’s now called “body dysmorphic disorder” – that awesome head condition where what you see in the mirror is totally unreal, but which motivates you to do whatever it takes to see what you really want… Read more

January 27, 2013

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had one superpower in my dreams. I don’t fly. Flying terrifies me. Even if I’m riding on a particularly strong and sure dragon, I lack the confidence to remain peaceably in the air. And more often than not, the dragon gets very angry with me because I’m clinging so tightly to its scales as to cause pain. To a dragon. But water? I can do water. When I swim in my sleep,… Read more

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