Ah, February. When thoughts turn to love, in all its forms, the lack of love, the appreciation for love, and everything in between. I have a been a fan of this holiday since grade school, when the festive red mailbox took center stage in the classroom. To me, mail was magic (mail remains magical, doesn’t it?) so the thought of receiving lots of cards from friends seemed like the best thing ever. Many decades onward, I still love the magic of the day. And no, love should not be reduced to one commercial holiday of the year, so I hope we can agree that love in all of its forms is a good thing, no matter what the date.
Love spells often come to mind around this time of year. Do they work? I can only speak from my experience, and after viewing the Relationship & Love Landscape from my past, I realized a few things that held true throughout all my experiences.
I pause here for two caveats: This is not an expose of those in the magical community, who offer all sorts of love spells to either bring that amazing person into your life, or to win back the love you lost. Three words of advice: don’t do it. I feel the magic is way more potent if we do these workings ourselves. And we all know the concept of not doing a love spell for a specific person, right? Because in a magical practice, this theoretically disrupt their free will, which is never a good thing. If you’ve had success with this, kudos, but in this kind of circumstance, I would focus more on communication with that person, instead of on enticing them back. A slight change in intention, but more effective in the long run, I think.
So, what does work with love spells? Consistency and clarity. Be very clear about what you want, because if you are telling the Universe, “Hey, I want a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner!”, all sorts of people may show up. Clarity in what you want means taking the time, sitting down and really clarifying what you would like to see in your relationship. Think about it all: habits, personal hygiene and habits, values, or whatever is important to you that would be compatible with you and your life. At this point, don’t turn the list in a series of “I do not want”. I did that for years, so determined NOT to have those qualities in a potential relationship, and guess what showed up for me? Yep, people with those very qualities that I did not want. It took me a while (and several tries) to figure that part out, but once I flipped my intentions to the kind of person I wanted to attract, it helped quite a bit.
Consistency is key, in that you state your intentions clearly with your spell work, set it in place, and let it go. If nothing happens after a few months, revisit and see what is missing, what could be tweaked, and try again. Also, please do realize that spell work alone is not going to get you the love of your life. You need to actually try and meet people, whether it be through classes, activities, walking your dog, etc. Think of it as a simple energy exchange: what you put out will come back to you. If you are loving your life, feeling fulfilled and purposeful, it is far more likely for you to find possible relationships, than staying home, watching endless tv, and complaining about the lack of love in your life.
Follow your intuition and ask for help from your deity or whomever you work with at your altar. There is a beauty in throwing up your hands, saying “I need help!” and actually listening to what is shared with you. You might be guided to how you’re standing in your own way, a shadow you need to work on, or a way of meeting someone that you haven’t thought of before. In my case, I threw it all in Brigid’s hands (the goddess I am devoted to), stated what I wanted to attract, and followed her guidance. She nudged me to do things out of my comfort zone, which did lead me to meeting the love of my life. I know for sure I would not have met this person the way I had always done things.
Be open to possibility. Simply put, don’t dismiss people out of hand because they don’t match what’s in your head as your future partner. I am not saying turn every meeting into a romance, but be open to the person themselves. They can end up being a really good friend (this happened to me), or the person that introduces you to your next partner, or just someone interesting to know. I met some very interesting people in my journeys, and I am thankful for those experiences.
Self-awareness also goes a long way. Get outside yourself and give yourself a good view, and be really honest. Would you want to spend time with you? Sometimes people are in such avid pursuit of wanting a relationship, they forget to spend some time on themselves. Finding a partner is not the answer to all life’s problems (trust me on this). You still have to face your stumbling blocks, do self-improvement, actually like yourself and be content with your own company. That is an on-gong journey, so make the most of it, and enjoy that process. Fall in love with yourself at least a little bit, before wanting others to fall in love with you.
So do love spells work? I believe they can, and they do. They have worked for me. It was a lot of trial and error, but I learned something invaluable in the process. Bringing more love into your life is always a good thing, and if you keep that at the forefront of your love spells, then I see lots of love in your future.