Before they married, Mama told Baba she wanted to raise her children as Christians.  He agreed, neglecting to tell her until after their wedding that he was actually an apostate.  Throughout my childhood, Baba’s apostasy brought out the energy in him. Baba and my son at Tuanapalooza 2012–a Disney cruise celebrating Baba’s 80th birthday “I,” he would proclaim, pointer finger in the air, chuckling with glee, deep dimples carving grooves into his round cheeks, “am an APOSTATE!  Ha ha!” I... Read more

I was a virgin when I got married at the ripe old age (back then) of 28.  I’ve kissed fewer men than the fingers on one hand.  I didn’t have a “serious” boyfriend until graduate school.  And for all those sexless, boyfriend-less, not being the sought-after-object-of-mens’ desires years, I felt pitiable, like a loser.  Even though Jesus was my boyfriend and I staunchly wanted to be a woman whose self-esteem didn’t rest on how men regarded me, it was hard.... Read more

“You’re going to love this!!” Scott crowed when he got home, “This is going to change your life!” The flower grows based on how active you’ve been the past 3 hours And he gave me. . . a pedometer.  A very expensive pedometer that we never in a million years would have bought for ourselves, but took when his workplace offered it for free. But the Fitbit is not just a pedometer, it’s also an altimeter which logs how many... Read more

The Eiffel Tower on 9/9 as I stood under it! Last week I did one of the most irresponsible things I’ve ever done as a parent.  I flew to Paris for a week—purely for fun—and left 3 children in their first full week of school without a parent at home. My sister surprised me just a few weeks ago by inviting me to go to Paris—she had a business trip with free hotel, her husband had frequent flier miles, and she... Read more

For the last five years or so, I’ve completely failed at vacationing.  I get grumpy and annoyed. I have stress dreams.  I feel guilty about being grumpy and annoyed and having stress dreams when I’m supposed to be enjoying myself and my family. It’s a problem.  My husband notes that he spends most of the year stressed and then worries about NOTHING during vacation.  I spend most of the year relatively unstressed, and then act like a fiend the whole... Read more

19 years ago today, Scott and I promised one another to love, honor, and cherish until death do us part. 10 years ago today, Scott took me to dinner and proposed that we renew our vows on our 10thanniversary.  In the meantime, we’d go back into marriage counseling (for the 5th time) and do everything we could to work on our marriage so that we’d actually want to renew our vows. To put it mildly, our first ten years of marriage... Read more

Today I’m incredibly sleep deprived because I’ve spent about 70 hours over the past 5 days making photo albums.  Why?  Because 2 years ago I bought 5Photobook America Groupons that expired yesterday. Yes, I bought those Groupons TWO years ago. Sigh. Two years ago yesterday, 5 days before I left for China, Groupon published a deal with Photobook America. For $25, I could get $115 worth of Photobooks.  Great deal, right? I knew I’d want an album of our historic trip to... Read more

I have a new recurring nightmare. I’m supposed to teach some large gathering and I’ve neglected to prepare. . . anything.  No talks, no snacks, no colleagues who can pinch-hit for me.  So I wing it—through sheer force of personality, I offer scintillating thoughts—and know I’m completely failing.  Maybe I’m finally growing up–until a couple weeks ago, my recurring nightmare was always academic—that I forgot to attend either a history or math class until the week before finals. Both recurring... Read more

This is the second of a series of reflections I’m writing based on Ann Marie Slaughter’s Atlantic Monthly story Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.  Read The Problem with Having It All Back in my 20s, because I had 3 diversity points (female, Asian, young), I was invited to sit on a couple national Christian ministry advisory boards. Affirmative action brought me to the table—I was severely under-qualified compared to fellow board members—but I was glad to be there.  After all,... Read more

This is the first of a series of reflections I’m writing based on Ann Marie Slaughter’s Atlantic Monthly story Why Women Still Can’t Have It All When I was a kid, I read a Parade magazine interview with either Barbara Walters or Margaret Thatcher—can’t remember which one just that she was an older White woman with big hair—who said something like, “You can either have a great marriage and a great relationship with your kids, or a great marriage and a... Read more