For Jesus “Ween?” No Way!

For Jesus “Ween?” No Way! October 13, 2011

This sounds like a job for my 10 year old, Jango Fett the Bounty Hunter. Have a look,

Not no, but hell no! Jesus went to hell and back to save all souls. Every knee will bend when hearing his name. You don’t go adding suffixes to his name, no matter what day of the year it is.

It’s time to teach my youngest the rudiments of the Five-paragraph order: SMEAC.


Jedi Master: “Well meaning Christian do-gooders have kidnapped Jesus and have manacled him to the Suffix Ween.” .


“Free Jesus from the clutches of the dreaded Suffix named Ween, Jango Fett,”


“but bring me the Suffix back alive. Is that understood?”

Jango Fett: “As you wish. Two questions. How much is the bounty and can I punish those who did this to Jesus?”


Jedi Master: “The bounty is 100,000 credits, a high premium due to the dangerous reputation of Suffixes. You will be paid upon your arrival, with Ween, to our base on the planet Hethar. As for punishing the captors of Jesus, use only the amount of force necessary to free him from Ween, and that which is necessary for your own self-defense. Use your discretion given the circumstances that you encounter. You are to free Jesus, but to collect your bounty, you must bring me the Suffix alive.”


“I trust your ship is in good condition?”

Jango Fett: “Of course.”

Command and Signals

Jedi Master: “Good. You are on your own then. When you have custody of the Suffix and enter the Hethar system, contact us on Guard Channel 362.5. I wish you success, and may the Force be with you.

Jango Fett: “Thank you. It’s always a pleasure to meet a Jedi”

Jedi Master: “One other thing Jango Fett. Say Trick or Treat as loud as you can and say thank you when you are given candy. The more you get, the more you can share with me.

Jango Fett: “Dad!”

H/T: slacktivist and Wookiepedia.

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