If You Sign the Petition on the HHS Mandate…

If You Sign the Petition on the HHS Mandate… January 29, 2012

Skinner and the Smoking Man will haul you in for questioning. Be afraid. Be very afraid. They will send black helicopters to abduct you. The IRS will audit you. Also, the Men in Black will visit you with that little doohickey that erases your memory.

And another thing to consider: the reason why it takes so long for the White House website to load up? It takes time to find the GPS coordinates that match your ISP address. The President needs that in order to a) target your house with drones and/or a Tomahawk cruise missile and b) plant an unerasable cookie in your web browser.

Whatever you do, do not sign this petition! The Secret Service will tunnel under your house.

"Vaya con Dios, Leonard; Rest in Peace."

Leonard Nimoy Explains The Origin Of ..."
"Thank you for sharing"

To Break My Fast from Being ..."
"I've seen Matt Maher live four times...twice since this song was released. I absolutely love ..."

WYD Flashback With Matt Maher, And ..."
"Yes, and Dolan should have corrected the scandalous and wrong decison of his predecessor when ..."

Archdiocese of New York Health Plan ..."

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!


Close Ad