It’s Cyber Monday, So Put Your Hard Earned Money Here

A few days back, I asked readers to contribute five whole dollars (each) to help raise completion funds for the film All That Remains. Five bucks a piece is a princely sum I know, but it must have been too much to ask.

I guess I figured the generosity of my fellow Catholics was something that I could count on, you know, when asking for such a pathetically small amount of money. Naive rube that I am, I’m surprised that only 6 people stepped up and have given $265. We few, we happy few…

But now, it’s Cyber Monday, you know, the day when everyone gets crazy with their credit cards and buys more stuff that they absolutely must have for gifts, or just to satisfy that craving for bargains.

Idea! Perhaps I was asking too little. Not impressed with the chump change requests, my Catholic homies want a real challenge, eh? Okey-dokey. No sense in singing the money blues around here, so let’s see what we are actually capable of today, shall we? First, a few examples of the (alleged) power of “crowd sourcing.”

Example to shame you #1,

Bigtime atheist cartoonist/blogger Matthew Inman of the Oatmeal asked his readers for $850,000 to build a museum to enshrine the work of Nichola Tesla using Indiegogo. Guess what happened?  They responded with 1.3 Million dollars.

“Oh hell yeah, sign me up! I’ll never visit that museum, ever, but since Inman is the shizz, where’s my wallet?”

But Frank, we like what you do, honest, but we don’t have that kind of money.

So, you think I don’t have a rough idea of how many Catholics there are in the world? LOL, dear reader. LOL.

Example to shame you #2,

The Muslim community used Indiegogo to help raise funds for their mosque that was destroyed by arsonists in Joplin Missouri. They asked for $250,000 and generous folks gave over $400k.

“I’m not into religion myself, but it’s not cricket that a mosque got torched by freakazoids either. Honey? Where’s my credit card?”

Frank, the Muslim conspiracy thing is real, man. Look at how much money they were able to squeeze out of an increasingly secularized culture…sigh. Yeah, that excuse is kind of falling flat.

Hmmm. Maybe I am asking for too little, dear readers? $7,500 is chump change, after all.

Oh, lookie…today’s Gospel reading!

When Jesus looked up he saw some wealthy people putting their offerings into the treasury and he noticed a poor widow putting in two small coins. He said,

“I tell you truly, this poor widow put in more than all the rest; for those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood.”

Would it have been more to your liking if I had asked for 100 kagillion, bagillion dollars? Roll clip,

Yeah, yeah, times are tough, and money is tight, blah blah blah. Perhaps you didn’t understand what I was asking you to do. Was it like this for you?

Five dollars per every regular reader of this blog would be something like $15,000 which would blow the lid off the little goal me and my film making friends have. Then we could wrap up production, premiere the film, make BluRay DVD’s of it, and sell tons of copies of it etc., etc. You have to admit, that is much more palatable than just grinding along on the proceeds of the virtual widows mite that we’ve been operating on so far.

The widow’s have already contributed, see, so now it’s your turn.

Look over there on the sidebar at that embarrassing amount of money sitting in the kitty for a film about a man whose city we destroyed while using the Catholic Church in Urakamai as a freaking aiming point. See this picture? We.built.that.

$310 dollars? That’s all we can muster? It should be $21,500 on it’s way to $215,000 for crying out loud.

Hey, but you know what? It’s Cyber Monday, so give $40 and you’ll be able to download the film when it’s completed. Better yet, give $75 and you’ll get the download and a DVD. So you see? Your money won’t just disappear into the ether, but will give you something tangible too. Win-win!

But for now, the little empty widget over yonder? It’s like a mirror, and the reflection isn’t too pretty, is it? Only six people have given a dime since my post asking for help ten days ago.

The folks who helped out in the two Indiegogo examples above are laughing at this pathetic show of support for a film about a Catholic convert from Shintoism whose cause for sainthood is being taken up by the beleaguered little remnant of Christians in the Archdiocese of Nagasaki, whose town we blew to kingdom come and whose generations we snuffed out with the snap of a finger.

Watch the trailer one.more.time.

If you are a return reader, and the Google powered counter thingy informs me that half of you are, break out your credit card and shoot $5 dollars into the kitty. Or maybe you need to put $50, $500, or $5,000. Whatever turns your crank. After all, it’s Cyber Monday!!!

But whatever you do, don’t just sit there, do nothing, and wonder why the needle isn’t moving and the film never makes it to fruition. Pony up and get your download/DVD perk today. Buy a t-shirt or a coffee mug too.

Don’t just sit there…buy something! 🙂