[Editor’s note: As I write, it’s been about 4.5 years since I first published this piece, having no clue that it would go viral. Needless to say, this is young work, and I’ve written far better since then, but of all my articles this seems to be the one that struck a chord with the most people. A couple years of reflection and reading the comments people have left inspired me to add this postscript in a comment of my own... Read more